


Will It Not Be a Clarity Between Two Dark Triangles

by ken_ichijouji (dommific)



Category: Star Trek Into Darkness - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom McCoy, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Fingerfucking, Heterosexual Sex, Love Triangles, M/M, Male Slash, Multi, POV Male Character, Romance, Written pre-star trek beyond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-01 11:07:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 39,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dommific/pseuds/ken_ichijouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Bones wants is Jim, and even though Jim doesn't want him, it's all good. But then a female Jim from an alternate Enterprise shows up who's in love with HER Bones who doesn't want HER, and...why is Jim suddenly acting so weird about everything?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [No habrá claridad entre dos triángulos oscuros](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786256) by [qaroinlove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qaroinlove/pseuds/qaroinlove)



> Hokay so…this is all I’ve done, writing-wise, since I posted that last Gossip Trek chapter. 
> 
> I’m not going to go into too much depth, but suffice to say…I wasn’t in a good place for most of the last few months. In fact, I was basically in a dark unfinished basement with mildew and one light with a pull cord all the way across the room with a burned-out bulb, but like my brain instead of an actual basement. 
> 
> But I refused to drop out of STBB.
> 
> And my friends wouldn’t let me either, especially not my beta maypirate, who even rewarded me for completing it.
> 
> Suffice to say, things are much better now, and I was able to complete this story. Apologies and gratitude to my artist, foxycasbones, and gratitude to my pinch-hit mixer, aaweth_edain. A huge thank you to them for being so patient and understanding and wonderful. <3 you two!
> 
> In case it’s not obvious, the movie Jim picks out is the Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, and Dermot Mulroney comedy “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” Not very subtle, is he?
> 
> I’m pretty sure with how often they reboot Scooby Doo now (as in I swear it’s like every eighteen months), it’ll still be a thing in the 23rd century. Hence Jim and Jamie's comments about Velma and Fred.
> 
> “Wipe that face off your head” and its variations are from the film _Dazed and Confused_. Parker Posey says it, and her delivery is amazing.
> 
> Tragic Gardening Accidents come from _This is Spinal Tap!_
> 
> “Think unsexy thoughts” is from a really old episode of The Simpsons.
> 
> “I like doing stuff with you…you’re, like, my favorite person to do stuff with,” is from The L Word. The mention of flowers being “generic” and their recipient “not being generic” comes from a separate episode of The L Word. Dana says the first thing to Alice, Tina the second to Bette about Jodie.
> 
> (I just really loved The L Word. Probably more than I loved Queer as Folk.)
> 
> Saying someone is “coming” followed by an admonishment of “phrasing” comes from the FX show Archer.
> 
> Pairings in this are Jim/Bones, Jamie/Bones, and Jamie/her Bones, with some brief Sulu/either-or-both-Jim-and-Jamie, along with mentions of Spock/Uhura, Bones/Jocelyn, and Scotty/Chekov. Also mentions of previous Jim/OCs, Jim/Gaila, Bones/Gaila, and Bones/OCs. TL;DR everyone has lots of sexy thoughts about each other. That's it, that's the fic.
> 
> The art is found [here](http://foxycasbones.livejournal.com/4765.html). It's beautiful and perfect and amazing, and Jamie looks fantastic, and I have never been happier OMG.
> 
> The mix is found [here](http://aaweth-edain.livejournal.com/26209.html). It's WONDERFUL, listen to it forever.
> 
> **ETA:** My amazing friend James made a _second_ mix for this! [It's here on 8tracks.](http://8tracks.com/spanambula/between-two-dark-triangles/) Yay! I'm so happy!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this. ^_^;;

Pretty much every Friday went the following way. 

Bones would get off his shift, grab a sandwich, head to his quarters, change, and pull out the bourbon. After ten minutes (give or take) Jim would arrive, also in civilian clothing. They would sit, shoulder-to-shoulder against Leonard’s couch, leaving their glasses on his coffee table as they talked about everything and nothing of consequence.

Jim was in the midst of telling a story about the first time he stole a car as Bones watched him, pausing in mid-sip of his bourbon. He gave Jim a long look as he gestured, a wild and happy grin on his face.

Bones' own eyes lit up and sparkled. He smiled, a slight upturning of his lips at the corners, and closed his eyes to take another drink of bourbon.

“Anyways, I returned it the next day with a note,” Jim said, wrapping up the tale. “And a fully charged battery. It was fun, but I decided I don’t really care for German cars.”

“My car back in Georgia was a BMW,” Bones said with a shrug. “A three series.”

“Really?” Jim gave him an interested look. “What color?”

“Red with tan interior,” Bones said. “Had a manual transmission, though. The only acceptable kind.”

Jim stared at Bones. “I don’t picture you as the red type. I would have figured silver or gray.”

“Only boring people have silver cars,” Bones said. “They look completely generic, and you can’t see them when it rains.”

Jim laughed. “Harsh.”

“You know it’s true, though,” Bones said. 

“It is,” Jim admitted. “I’m partial to black, myself.”

Cringing, Bones shook his head a few times. “A black car? In Georgia? In the summer? No fucking thank you.”

“I just had my bike,” Jim said. “My beautiful Ducati I restored. I miss her sometimes, but it wasn’t practical at the Academy or now that we’re on the _Enterprise_. But one day…”

“Just wear a helmet and leather gear,” Bones said. “I’m not patching you back together if you wipe out.”

Jim gave Bones a sly look. “But I thought you like patching me up? I thought it’s your favorite thing in the world.”

The irritation in the eye roll Bones gave could have been felt in Engineering.

Jim smiled, a bright, sunny kind of smile that made Bones swallow around a sudden lump in his throat as he nudged Bones’ shoulder. “We both know I’ve gotten a lot better since I…” Jim trailed off before clearing his throat. “You know. With Khan and Marcus.”

Bones’ mood tumbled into a rapid downward spiral. His hands clenched into fists, and he made a point to look everywhere but at Jim. The nausea and stress of those two weeks came flooding back, even though it’d been the better part of a year since Jim…since it happened.

Jim cottoned on to it and sighed. He turned sideways to face Bones with a lot of regret in his eyes. “Hey. Sorry. I know we’re…you don’t like talking about that.”

Not answering him with words, Bones looked down at the carpet.

Jim shifted closer, placing his hands on Bones’ shoulders. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth for a while before saying, “ _Do_ you want to talk about it? At some point?”

Nope.

“No,” Bones said. “Not now or ever.”

His expression becoming wounded and sad, Jim gazed at him. 

“What?” Bones asked.

“Nothing,” Jim said. “Just…you tell me everything. But you won’t talk to me about that. Is it because I thanked Spock instead of you?”

“Jim, I mean it,” Bones said with a sigh. “I don’t want to talk about it. Any of it. Just let it go for once in your life.”

Now Jim looked crushed, and Bones sighed again, resisting the urge to pull him into his arms. “I…sure, Bones. I won’t bring it up again,” Jim said in a soft voice.

Bones picked at a spot on his jeans. “Sorry, Jim. I just…”

“It’s cool,” Jim said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and it occurred to Bones that he had fucked up. “We all have things we don’t like talking about.” He grabbed the bottle, peeling the label off a piece at a time.

Bones shifted closer to Jim. He opened his mouth for a minute before closing it. Then he tried again. “Been on any dates lately?” he said, feeling somewhat pathetic and invasive.

Jim looked somewhat startled by the question. “No, I haven’t been with anyone since the last shore leave. Because you know…can’t date ensigns or yeomen or whatever.”

Bones swallowed a mouthful of bourbon without really tasting it. “Yup.”

Jim reached his arms towards the ceiling and stretched, his shirt riding up to expose a strip of pale belly over his jeans. Bones tried not to notice. “I mean, honestly I’ve been mostly good without it. It gets lonely sometimes, but I’ve got so much going on as Captain, I don’t really have much time for it. Sure if the right person came along, I’d make time, but no one special has appeared.”

Grimacing, Bones set his bourbon down next to his leg. “Yup.”

Jim gave Bones a sly look. “How about you?”

Bones blinked. He should have seen it coming, as it was standard for him opening discourse on Jim’s love life to pave the way for discourse about his.

It also happened to be a loaded question.

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a monk,” Bones began.

“I know,” Jim said. “You’ve had a few month-long flings or one-night stands of your own. And there was that stuff with you hitting on Carol. Which, by the way, it’s a wonder you ever got anyone to go home with you if those are your moves, Bones.”

Bones gave Jim an offended look. “Nyota told me about the bar in Riverside, Jim. You couldn’t even remember what a first name was.”

Jim huffed. “Please.”

“Anyways,” Bones said, bringing them back to the subject at hand. “There’s…no one on this ship’s worth risking my career.”

Almost no one.

“I hear that,” Jim said, leaning his head against the cushions. “For me, they’d have to be a Lieutenant Commander or thereabouts. So basically, Scotty. Or Spock.” Jim winced, undoubtedly imagining what Uhura would do to him if he went for the latter. “Not a chance in hell.”

Noting with bitterness that Jim didn’t even register him as a Lieutenant Commander, Bones shrugged. “I’m the GP of every person on this ship. It’s unethical.”

Jim looked up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression. “I’m sure you could recuse yourself from treating them except in emergencies. Let Geoff be their GP. For the hypothetical person you fall in love with, I mean.”

“Yeah, there are ways around it,” Bones admitted with a shrug. “But again, there’s…no one I’m willing to do that for at this juncture.”

Jim continued to stare at the ceiling. “Not even Carol? Or the rumors about you and Christine?”

Bones made a face. “Christine? Jesus man, she’s like my sister!”

Jim smirked. “Tell that to Pavel and Hikaru, though I think Hikaru would be relieved to hear it. You know him and blondes.”

“Frankly it’s a wonder the two of you never had sex,” Bones muttered, because everyone knew about Hikaru’s thing for blondes. Everyone. Even Barnett and Archer.

Jim looked down from the ceiling. “Nah, he’s not into dudes. Otherwise, probably back in the Academy…”

Bones pinched his nose. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Oh don’t act like you haven’t thought about it, especially after his ‘test me and you’ll fail’ speech to Khan,” Jim said with a nudge of his shoulder. “I bet you wanted to do him in my chair right that instant.”

A tiny part of him had to admit Jim was right. Bones shrugged. “I plead the fifth.”

Jim laughed, throwing his head back and chortling deep in his throat. Bones took in the sight, unable to keep a smile of his own off his face. He always loved it when Jim laughed, really laughed, and let go. It was a gorgeous sight he hadn’t seen much since Khan, and Bones wasn’t above savoring it and committing it to memory.

He’d never claim he wasn’t selfish.

“But anyways,” Bones said. “It’s fine. I get lonely sometimes, but…”

“But we have each other,” Jim said. The light in his eyes was all friendship and care, and Bones hated himself for wishing there was more in those blue depths. 

“Yeah, that’s all we ever need,” Bones said. He forced a smile on his face, willing his eyes to light up to make it look genuine.

Jim either didn’t notice or went with it as he clapped a hand on Bones’ shoulder and grinned. He poured himself more to drink, which Bones didn’t mind. It was decent bourbon but not his favorite. Jim could have his fill without a lecture for once. “Maybe next shore leave, we could go out together, and I’ll be your wingman.”

Bones managed to keep the smile from slipping off his face, though it took every ounce of his willpower. “I’ll think about it,” he said, as genuinely as he could muster.

Jim’s eyes got a satisfied glint as his grin brightened. “Coming from you, that’s practically begging for my expertise.”

“Don’t let your head swell more than it already has, you dipshit,” Bones said. This was normal. Normal was good and didn’t result in him aching deep in his chest as he failed to sleep at night.

Jim nudged him, handing him his glass. “Don’t worry, Bones, we’ll get you set up with a lady or gentleman or a tentacle-creature if that’s what you’re into.”

His expression becoming somewhat horrified at the prospect of tentacle sex, Bones gave Jim a wary look. “The tentacles are more your thing.”

“Once,” Jim said, holding an index finger in the air for emphasis. “I did it once. You can’t say you don’t like something until you try it, after all, and while I admit it was a bit too out there for me, I’m glad I gave it a whirl. After all, life is about experiences.”

“It’s actually about being happy,” Bones corrected.

“They’re not mutually exclusive, though,” Jim said. “I mean, trying new things and experimenting and seeing things no one else has…that all makes me happy. Hence…” Jim waved his hand in the air in a vague gesture, and Bones sighed, knowing him well enough to understand what it meant.

“I reckon that’s true,” Bones conceded. “I don’t know. I get stuck in my ways, I suppose.”

“You do, but that’s not bad either,” Jim said. As casual as always, he threw an arm across Bones’ shoulders. Bones sighed, leaning into it enough so that Jim knew he liked it but not so much he knew he loved it. 

Really, that summed up his existence, didn’t it?

“There’s something to be said about having a routine,” Jim continued. “I mean, Fridays are the high points of my weeks.”

“Yeah?” Bones said, heart filling with hope.

“Yeah,” Jim said, not looking at him. “I like having these nights to decompress. With everyone else on this ship, I’m the Captain or Kirk or Sir. With you, I’m just Jim. I really rely on these nights to not be needed, you know?”

Bones leaned his head on Jim’s shoulder, taking a long sip of his bourbon. There was that selfishness again, because the knowledge that he was the only one on the ship Jim felt this comfortable with was pleasing indeed.

But then as it always did, the selfishness morphed, twisting into something ugly that hungered for more than his best friend would ever be willing or able to give. Bones bit back a sigh, shifting out of Jim’s grip as he poured himself a triple, downing it in one gulp.

Jim didn’t notice.

\------

Jim left at 0200, and Bones hit himself with a hypo to sleep. He dreamed of relaxing at his family home in Georgia, Jim curled up beside him in bed, his lips marking trails across Bones' skin and over his freckles. It wasn’t sexual; it was intimate and lush, and when his alarm went off in the morning, Bones hated himself more than he did the day before.

He got ready, grabbed some coffee and toast in the mess, went down to Medical, and began his day. 

And it was a good one for once. Only minor colds and scrapes, no serious injuries or burns or attacks. He managed to get ahead on paperwork, his staff following suit. It was both peaceful and a welcome change.

As usual when they were both on Alpha shift, Jim came into Sick Bay to grab Bones for lunch. “Hey,” Jim called as he stuck his head around the corner with a wink and a smile.

Bones couldn’t help the jolt in his heart. “Hey yourself,” he replied.

“Hungry?” Jim said.

Bones realized that he was. “Yeah, I could go for a bite.”

Before either of them could move, a whistle sounded over a communications panel in the wall. _Transporter room to Captain Kirk_ , came Scotty’s voice.

With a puzzled expression, Jim walked to the panel. “Kirk here; go ahead, Scotty.”

 _We have a situation that I think you better come take a gander at,_ Scotty said. _As soon as you can._

“Can you tell me what happened at least?” Jim asked.

There was a long pause.

 _I think you’d better just come down and see for yourself, sir. It’s…startling._ There was an unsettled and unnerved quality to Scotty’s voice, as if he couldn’t believe what he saw.

Jim sighed. “Oh for…fine. I’ll be there in five. Kirk out.” He turned to Bones with a rueful smile.

“Always knew those things were nothing but shit and disaster,” Bones couldn’t help but point out.

“You’ve said that more than once, yeah,” Jim said. “Wanna come with? He sounds spooked. Spooked Scotty is always an amusing Scotty.”

“Except when the ship’s about to blow, sure,” Bones grumbled.

“That’s not Spooked Scotty. That’s Losing His Fucking Shit Scotty. Spooked Scotty is like Keenser made pudding in the engineering again.” Jim explained, his voice breezy.

“Fair enough,” Bones said. “And sure, I’ll join you. We’ll grab lunch after.”

“Word,” Jim said as they exited Sick Bay, taking the nearest turbolift to the transporter room. They arrived in seconds, and when the doors opened, they both stared at the sight before them.

A woman in a command gold dress with a long, messy ponytail was in the midst of a shouting match with Scotty. 

“I am telling you, it’s _me_ , Scotty,” she said, slamming one of her hands down on his console. “Jesus, how the fuck could you not recognize me? We’ve known each other since I got you off Delta Vega!”

“Lass, I don’t know who you are or why you’re saying the things you are, but you are not the…Captain!” Scotty said. “Perhaps now that you’re here, you can clear this up.”

The woman turned to the door with a baleful glare on her face, and Bones’ jaw dropped a little. She was tall, lithe and muscular with long dancer’s legs, standing with a hip cocked out and her arms crossed. Her cheekbones were high and sharp, with expressive blond brows two shades darker than her hair and a familiar sloped nose that was distinctive but not overwhelming.

Above everything else, her eyes drew his attention. Lots of Terrans had blue eyes. But this unique shade, bright summer sky with rings and flecks of navy filled with a particular flame glimmering with anger, Bones had only ever seen on one other person.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Bones said. “I’d think she was your sister, Jim.”

The woman’s face flooded with relief at the sound of his voice. “Oh thank God! Bones!” She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Now you can get Scotty off the damn crazy train.”

Bones blinked for a while, hazarding a look at Jim. Jim’s mouth twisted when she called him by his nickname. The look in his eyes was equal parts confusion and something deeper that Bones hadn’t seen before.

“I’m sorry,” Bones said looking down at the woman. “I’m afraid I don’t…I’m not sure we’ve met. Miss…?”

The woman’s expression soured as she took two steps back from him. “Knock it off, Bones. It’s not funny.”

“Who the hell are you?” Jim said. “Why do you know their names?”

The woman seemed to finally notice Jim. She looked up at his face for a while before they circled each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she said “Captain Jamie T. Kirk, _USS Enterprise_.”

His left eyebrow shooting up into his hair, Bones stared at her. Jim didn’t do much better. 

“Captain _James_ T. Kirk, _USS Enterprise_ ,” Jim said, staring at her as if she had two heads.

Jim and…Jamie, Bones supposed, looked at each other for a long time.

“Bull-fucking-shit,” Jamie said after a while. She shifted from one foot to the other, and Bones’ eyes followed the movement of her legs in her knee-high boots.

“This is why I called you,” Scotty said as he came over from the console. “She just…appeared on the pad a few minutes ago. The transporters were powered down and everything. Then she started speaking like she knows me, giving me orders and told me she’s my captain, and I just----“

“I get it, Scotty,” Jim said, his eyes not leaving Jamie’s face. 

Jamie stared up at Jim with a defiant expression. “So I get beamed back to my ship, only instead of _my_ ship I end up in some weird-ass parallel dimension where I’m a dude? Am I understanding this right?”

Jim’s eyes narrowed, hers following suit. “Without any evidence of what’s going on, I’d say that’s the most reasonable conclusion, Miss.”

“Captain,” Jamie corrected.

“Only one person has that title on _this_ ship,” Jim said with a hint of disdain. “And you’re looking at _him_.”

Jamie huffed out an annoyed sound that Bones heard Jim make all the time. The expression on her face was all his, as well; her eyes had narrowed to little slits, and her mouth had contorted into something approaching a squiggly line. “You gonna piss all over the place so I don’t claim your territory?”

Unable to help himself, Bones snorted.

An incredulous expression formed on Jim’s face as his eyes flickered to Bones. For once, Bones had the decency to shrug and look somewhat chagrined.

It was still hilarious, though.

Jim turned his attention back to Jamie with aggravation in his eyes. “As you are a guest on this ship, I will let that slide this time. Moving forward, I expect to be treated with the respect and decency afforded a Starfleet Captain. Are we clear?”

“And as I am _also_ a Starfleet Captain,” Jamie spat. “I _also_ expect to be treated with respect and decency. _Captain_.”

Bones took a step forward, prepared to get in between them if necessary. “Captain Kirk,” he started. “Jim doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s a strange situation for all of us, and I’m sure it’s no less stressful for you. Let’s focus on what’s important, which is getting you back to your _Enterprise_ as quickly as possible.”

Jamie turned to him, her expression losing its hostility. Jim’s face shifted into a small wince before he also looked at Bones with gratitude in his eyes. Bones gave him a nod, and he focused his attention back to Jamie.

“You always know how to get through to me, Bones,” she said, and again Jim’s expression clouded. Jamie clapped Bones on the shoulder once, although unlike Jim’s touches, hers lingered. Her hair swished behind her as she said, “Since there’s a Scotty, a Bones, and a _me_ , I’m assuming you also have a Spock of some kind? Or is he a she or both or neither here?”

“Spock’s a man,” Bones supplied before he could think about it. “Nyota’s a woman. Chekov’s twelve.”

It was Jamie’s turn to snort as she gave Bones half of a smile. “Out of curiosity, what’s the Stardate here?”

Jim cleared his throat, moving close enough to touch Bones. “2260.75.”

Her eyebrow raising a smidge, Jamie gave Jim a curious look. “I’m from 2258.325.”

“Interesting,” Scotty said, and Bones had forgotten he was in the room. “So not just an alternate reality but an earlier point in time, then?”

“Apparently,” Jamie said with a shrug.

“Hey, does your reality have sandwiches?” Scotty said.

Both Jim and Jamie stared at him with matching expressions of disbelief. “Do you ask that every time anyone hops realities or travels in time?” they said, speaking in unison before giving each other strange looks. Jamie’s lips quirked up in the barest hint of a smile, while Jim’s mouth was an annoyed frown.

“Jesus Christ,” Bones said with a sigh. “It’s not bad enough they look alike?”

Jamie winked at him. 

Jim gave her a look. “What’s the matter, Bones? This would be most people’s dream come true. Two Kirks for the price of one…who wouldn’t be happy?”

Bones gave Jim a curious glance. On the surface, his words sounded like anyone would expect; they had a light, teasing air and carefree tone. But there was something else behind them, a quality Bones hadn’t ever heard in Jim’s voice before. Not quite bitterness, but something along those lines. He caught Jim’s eye, asking without words if he was all right.

Jim shrugged and looked away.

Bones sighed and shook his head, opting to leave it for that moment. He’d get Jim alone and ask later. He also didn’t rise to Jim’s bait, instead opening his communicator. “McCoy to Spock.”

_This is Commander Spock. Go ahead, Doctor._

“Can you meet us in the Medical Bay?” Bones said. “I’ve got something of a surprise for you.”

Jamie grinned when he referred to her as a surprise. Jim looked a bit confused, but he didn’t argue. 

_I shall arrive within five minutes. Spock out_ , Spock said as he terminated the conversation. 

Bones gestured to everyone else, indicating they should walk towards medical. Scotty went first, followed by Jim and Jamie heading through the door at the same instant. They bumped into each other, and Jim came to an abrupt halt with a frown. “After you,” he said with a sardonic grin.

Jamie gave him a sour look. “A, don’t give me your false chivalry, and B, age before beauty.”

It took every bit of Bones’ willpower to not laugh at the look on Jim’s face, because that was what Sulu would call an “epic burn.” Jamie grinned and winked at Jim before gesturing for him to leave first. 

Jim wasn’t having it, judging by the expression on his face. Bones sighed. “I insist, _Captain_ ,” Jim said. “And I am being polite.”

“You’re being a sexist prick,” Jamie said. “ _Miss_ instead of my actual title, making me go through doors first…”

Before Jim could react, Bones put his hand on her shoulder. “Enough. I know this is weird for both of you. I’d be losing my shit if I was in your position, but right now we’re all stuck with each other. Let’s go to medical, get things taken care of, figure out how to get Jamie back to her ship, and be done with it. _Without_ you two coming to blows,” he finished, giving Jim a look that said _you’re better than this, Jim, what the hell?_

His eyes landing on Bones’ hand on Jamie’s shoulder, Jim looked back at his face and frowned. Sighing, Jim then shook his head a few times. “Fine. I’ll go first.” And he did, doing a cross between his usual saunter and the brisk storming that was common when he was pissed. 

Jamie turned to Bones with a shrug and a crooked smile. “Thanks.”

Bones shrugged. “Don’t thank me, I’m not taking sides. You shouldn’t fall for it because all you’re doing is escalating this petty shit.”

The smile left Jamie’s face, but she nodded. “I know. You’re right. I just---“

“Are you coming or what?” Jim shouted to them from the turbolift. His facial expression was unimpressed, and his eyes were dark and unreadable.

Jamie pursed her lips as Bones rolled his eyes. Together they walked toward Jim and Scotty, and Bones noticed that Jamie walked like Jim. She took long strides and moved like quicksilver, deliberate and sure of herself with every step. 

They entered the lift, Bones standing next to Jim as Jamie moved next to Scotty. As the doors closed, his captain turned to him. “Why _are_ we going to medical, Bones?”

“Because we should verify her identity, and the best way to do that is with a genetic scan,” Bones said. He grimaced, giving Jamie an apologetic smile. “No offense.”

“Eh,” Jamie said. “I’m pretty sure a Bones being paranoid is a universal constant.”

“Someone in this God-forsaken organization has to be,” Bones said. “And it’s not paranoia if someone is actually out to get you.”

Both Jamie and Jim gave him fond looks. “It makes sense, Bones,” Jim said. He put a hand on Bones’ back, and Bones allowed himself a second to revel in it. “Good thinking.”

Jim’s hand didn’t leave his back the entire trip to Sick Bay, which was strange. Jim touched Bones all the time, but they were short, fleeting instances like fireflies. They didn’t linger.

Bones looked out his peripheral vision to inspect Jim’s facial expression. For the most part, it was neutral and focused on the task at hand, but there was something in his eyes, a hardness Bones didn’t recognize. Before Jim could sense him looking, Bones turned his attention back to the front, sighing as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. 

The doors opened, and Jim’s hand stayed on him as they entered the medical wing. A few of the nurses glanced up at them before doing double-takes at Jamie. Bones turned and looked at her; she walked with her head held high, her steps never faltering, but there were two distinct pink spots on her cheeks. 

Her eyes, though, fixated on Jim’s hand on his back.

Wondering what caused that, Bones steered Jamie to a biobed. She gave him a wary look before sitting on it. Jim stood a few feet away from her with his arms crossed, his eyes never leaving Bones as he gathered his tricorder and tools.

Just in time, as Spock entered the med bay, strolling over to them with his hands clasped behind his back. He took a long look at Jamie with his head tilted to one side. “Is this woman a relation of yours, Captain?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Jim said in a dry tone.

Spock continued to give Jamie deep scrutiny; Jamie kind of grinned up at him with both of her eyebrows raised. “Oh come on, Spock. Don’t you recognize little ole me?”

Bones took advantage to press the needle to her arm, extracting her DNA.

“Ow!” Jamie said with a glare. “Jesus, you could warn me, Bones.”

Bones shrugged and smirked. “Where’s the fun in that?” Jim’s lips thinned into a straight line.

At the use of the nickname, Spock’s left eyebrow rose. “Fascinating.” He moved closer to Bones’ patient, but not in his way as Bones took readings on a tricorder to catalogue her injury and disease history. “Only the Captain uses that appellation for Doctor McCoy, and yet you used it as if it were second nature.”

Jamie blinked. “What else am I gonna call him, Spock? Leo? Len? Or God forbid, Leonard?”

Something like recognition dawned in Spock’s gaze as he said, “Captain Kirk.”

It wasn’t a question.

“The one and…well,” Jamie shrugged with a self-effacing expression. “I guess that saying isn’t really accurate here, is it?”

Jim made an irritated noise, triggering Jamie to roll her eyes.

Bones gave Jim a look, and Jim caught his eye, sighing and backing down. Shaking his head, Bones turned his attention back to the tricorder. The DNA sample reading would be done in a minute, but the injury and illness report was finished. Having long ago memorized Jim’s medical history, Bones read it over.

Then he blinked, reading it over again. His jaw fell before he turned his attention back to Jamie.

“Your step-father,” Bones began.

Jamie paled, wincing, as her posture stiffened. “He was a drunk asshole who liked picking on people smaller than him.”

This made Jim snap out of his damage, and his expression shifted to have compassion for the first time since their arrival in the transporter room. “Your ribs?”

“Nose too,” Jamie said. “Fourteenth birthday.”

“Yeah,” Jim said. He rubbed the bridge of his. “Mine’s slightly off-center because it didn’t get reset quickly enough.”

“Mine too,” Jamie said.

They looked at each other for a long time with something like kinship and understanding. Bones was relieved, having become somewhat concerned they’d start strangling each other.

“You have the same allergies,” Bones continued, changing the subject after he gave them both sympathetic looks. “Mulvarian mud flea vaccine, cortisone, strawberries, and the penicillin family.”

“Yeah,” they said at the same time.

The results were complete, and Bones pulled up his findings. He was completely and utterly unsurprised by the findings. “Aside from the shit making you a man and you a woman,” he said, pointing at the appropriate Kirk for emphasis. “You’re an identical genetic match.” He raised an eyebrow, smirking at both of them. “Congratulations. It’s a girl.”

Jamie scowled at being called a girl. Jim closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“As Captain Kirk’s identity has been confirmed,” Spock said. “I am assuming the explanation for her presence can be given at this time?”

“There isn’t one yet,” Scotty said, and again Bones realized he forgot he was with them. “The transporter was powered down, and she just appeared on the pad.”

Spock looked at Scotty before turning his attention back to Jamie. She shrugged. “I’m from not quite two years in the past, in addition to an alternate reality where I’ve got two X chromosomes.”

“I believe if we determine the differences between your reality and ours, that will enable us to isolate from where you came in order to ensure your return to the proper dimension,” Spock said. “Tell me, have you encountered a Romulan named Nero?”

Jamie made a noise. “The dick destroyed Vulcan and almost did the same to Earth. Barely managed to prevent the latter, but we got him. My Bones managed to save Pike so he’ll walk again at least. And ultimately, that’s how I got my ship.”

“How many times did you attempt the _Kobayashi Maru_ simulation?” Spock continued.

“Three,” Jamie said. “Third time was the charm. I beat the unbeatable test.”

Spock tilted his head up the barest hint. “How?”

Jamie gave Spock a sly look with light dancing in her eyes. It’s a look Bones saw Jim wear all the time, and he had to admit, it was very appealing on a woman. “I’ll answer if you promise not to either report me to the Academy, maroon me on Delta Vega, or strangle me. Again.”

Bones’ gave her a smile, knowing full well what that meant. Jim’s expression was a knowing one as well, and he waited to see Spock’s response.

Spock looked a bit thrown. “As we have never met until this moment, I cannot perform those actions ‘again’. However, I am cognizant of what you are referencing, so I will concede the circumstances of your passing the exam are the same as the Captain Kirk from this reality.”

Jamie gave Jim a slight smile before turning her attention back to Bones. “My Bones was there. So were my Uhura and Gaila.” She frowned. “Is Gaila dead here too?”

Bones nodded. “Yeah.”

Her mouth contorted into not quite a frown, full of pain nonetheless. “Oh.”

Reaching out, Bones put his hand on her shoulder. “Yeah,” he said a second time, his tone laced with _we miss her too_ , and her expression shifted to that of gratitude. 

Jim cleared his throat kind of loud, and Bones glanced at him. He had somehow drifted back to being irritated and annoyed, his face stuck in a scowl.

For some reason, Bones felt guilty. He let go of Jamie’s shoulder, and he didn’t miss the way her eyes dimmed when he stopped touching her. Bones also ignored that it felt the same as it did when he would touch Jim and pull his hand away; it always felt like a loss, not a severe one, but enough of one to make his heart ache for an instant.

Spock gave Bones a look before turning his attention back to Jamie. “What were the circumstances of your birth?”

Jamie leaned back on her hands and sighed. She closed her eyes and shook her head a few times. “Everyone already knows---“

“As you are an alternate reality counterpart to James T. Kirk, we actually are not privy to this knowledge,” Spock explained, not unkindly. “If you would not mind…”

Opening her eyes, Jamie frowned at him. “You’re always like a dog with a bone when you want to know something, you know that right?”

Spock didn’t dignify it with a response; he waited for her answer. 

“I was born on Medical Shuttle number thirty-seven from the _USS Kelvin_ ,” Jamie said. “The ship came under attack from Nero, and my father, as acting captain, stayed behind to get everyone else to safety. He didn’t survive.” Jamie cleared her throat, her eyes casting down to her boots.

Spock’s expression shifted into the one that meant he was dying of curiosity. “Fascinating. So far the details of your lives are identical, save for the fact that you are a woman.”

“Why am I ‘Bones’?” Bones asked before he even realized he was talking. Jim’s expression wavered between a glare and curiosity.

“Because of what you said on the shuttle in Riverside when we first met,” Jamie said with a slight smile. “You told me about your divorce and mentioned the ex took you to the cleaners. And that all you had left were your bones.”

Jim made a sound like a scoff and focused his attention on Bones, who stared at Jamie with a long, deep expression. “You really are the same person,” he said, his tone almost in awe.

“Thanks, Bones,” Jamie said before scrunching up her face. “I mean…I think?” She and Bones looked at each other, and Bones couldn’t stop a slight smile from appearing on his face.

Jim made another loud scoffing sound, this one more pointed and aggravated. His gaze fixed on Bones as he said, “So she’s me. So what? The older Spock showed me his alternate timeline and reality. It’s not news that there are multiple realities and timelines with multiple Kirks roaming around them. She’s not special.”

Spock turned to look at Jim with an eyebrow raised; even he noticed the snottiness and petulance when he spoke. Scotty cleared his throat and looked back and forth between Jamie and Jim. Bones gave Jim his patented _what the fuck is your problem?_ glare. Jim’s gaze didn’t leave Bones, but he had the decency to blush and clear his throat.

Jamie folded her arms across her chest, her mouth forming a small “O.” She went to say something before deciding against it, then shaking her head a few times. “Whatever,” she said. “Can we stop playing the Spanish Inquisition in order to figure out how to get me home? I have a crew to take care of and a ship to run.”

“Mister Scott,” Spock said, and Scotty turned to him with a crooked grin. “Would you like to attempt to recreate the circumstances that lead to Captain Kirk’s arrival on our vessel?”

“There’s not much to recreate, honestly,” Scotty said with a shrug. “But I’ll do what I can.”

“Pinpointing our female Captain’s reality will be more difficult,” Spock continued, and Jim's face soured at his use of the word _our_. “There are, of course, infinite realities within the realms of the multiverse. It would not do to send her back to the incorrect one.”

“Perhaps if we isolate only the realities taking place on the Stardate Captain Jamie gave us,” Scotty said. “That would, at least, narrow the field.”

“Oh sure instead of an infinite number of realities, it’s just trillions then,” Bones said under his breath.

“We will have to build a device to scan those realities, combing through them for only the ones without a Captain Kirk,” Spock said, ignoring Bones' color commentary as usual. “That will also narrow the field a great deal, enough so we will have a chance at successfully returning Captain Kirk to her home dimension.”

Jamie blanched. “That’s going to take weeks. There’s got to be an easier and faster way, Spock.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Jim groused. “Weeks?”

Spock’s eyes shifted the slightest bit into what Bones and Jim privately referred to as his _you fucking children, if there was, wouldn’t I suggest it?_ look. It cleared, and he gave Jamie a serious expression. “I understand this is not the best news you could be given, Captain, but as things stand it is the most logical course of action for the time being. We shall work around the clock if necessary to expedite the process of returning you to your crew and your _Enterprise_ , but for the time being I am afraid this is my best offer.”

Jamie sighed, crossing her legs and frowning. “I know deep down you’re right, Spock, but it’s not exactly easy news to hear. I have no idea how my crew is handling this right now, especially not the landing party I beamed back with. Chekov was in it, and the poor kid’s probably beside himself. And if I know Bones…” she said, giving Bones a look. “He’s screaming at everyone and possibly breaking my sick bay.”

Bones shrugged, because if the shoe fit and all that. If Jim were the one who’d disappeared, he’d have lost his mind, strangled people, and then lost it some more.

“I understand,” Spock said. “I admit, were Nyota put into similar circumstances, I would find the situation rather…difficult to work through.” His eyes drifted to Bones, and Bones coughed as the tips of his ears turned pink.

Figured the Vulcan bastard would figure out his hopeless feelings.

Jim didn’t seem to catch the entendre, but something in Jamie’s demeanor shifted. Her eyes were in turmoil. Bones pondered what would cause that, but he decided against asking. 

At least, not in front of everyone else. 

Jamie’s attention diverted back to Spock, and she favored him with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I may be able to help. Since I’m the only one who knows where I’m from and all.”

“Indeed,” Spock said. “Shall we then?”

Jamie hopped down off the biobed. “Provided the Good Doctor doesn’t need me for anything…”

“You’re free to go,” Bones said. “And thanks for bearing with me.”

Jim stared at Bones with a frown as Jamie smiled at him. “No problem, Bones. You know me, I love playing ‘doctor’.” She winked and turned, her skirt swirling around her hips as she followed Spock and Scotty out of the medical bay. Bones watched her walk for a while, his eyes following her legs more than was professional.

It took him a second to realize Jim started speaking. “---it’s so fucking unbelievable,” Jim said. 

“It is what it is,” Bones said, turning his attention to Jim. “There’s no sense in being so irritable. And she’s not that bad, Jim. Why, I’d think you’d be excited about a female you running around.” Bones smirked. “I’m surprised you haven’t made a pass at her.”

The look on Jim’s face was priceless. “Me…make…I…” His cheeks were beet red, and he pulled at his collar. “That’s…practically incestuous. Isn’t it?”

“I’d probably compare it more to masturbation,” Bones said with a shrug. “Albeit the most complicated and elaborate masturbation in the history of humanity.”

Still looking startled, Jim chewed on his bottom lip. His eyes went back to where Jamie, Spock, and Scotty had exited before turning back to Bones. His face got a strange expression, though his eyes were soft. “Want to hang out?”

The abrupt change in topic threw Bones for a loop. “What?”

Jim shrugged. “I mean, not right this instant. We’re both supposed to be on duty now. But…tonight maybe? We can watch a movie.”

Bones gave Jim a confused look. They hung out the night before like they did every Friday. It wasn’t really unusual for them to hang out during the rest of the week, but there was something about the way Jim asked. He seemed nervous and expectant about his answer, but he also seemed indifferent, as if he couldn’t care less about Bones at all.

“If you want,” Bones said with a shrug. “I don’t have any other plans.”

Jim lightened at this, the apathy giving way into a shy smile. “Okay. Good.” He looked at the chronometer on the wall. “I better report to the bridge. Just…come over whenever. I’ll have booze and snacks.”

Jim gave Bones a quirky, bright grin before clapping him on the shoulder. Again his touch lingered, and Bones’ eyes landed upon his hand, wondering what was going on. “See you, Bones!”

“Sure, Jim,” Bones said. “Have a good day.”

Jim let go of him and waved, heading out to the bridge. Bones watched him go with a slight frown. 

Then he shrugged, grabbed his tricorder, and went back to work.

\-----

The day continued in an uneventful and somewhat boring manner compared to Jamie's arrival, which relieved Bones. He could only take so much chaos, random female versions of his best friend, and catastrophic illnesses. Peace was a welcome change.

He was in the midst of catching up on some paperwork when the door chime to his office rang. “Come in,” he said without looking up at whoever it was.

He continued to focus on his PADD when a soft, female voice said, “Hey, Bones.”

Bones looked at Jamie. “Oh, hey.”

“Do you have a minute?” she asked, biting her bottom lip.

“Of course,” he said. “Have a seat.” He gestured at the two chairs on the opposite side of his desk.

Without hesitating, she took the one he referred to in his head as Jim’s, sinking onto the seat as if she did it all the time. Which, he realized, she did. Just not on this particular _Enterprise_.

Jamie shifted around for a minute before tucking one of her legs up under her. She tightened her ponytail, turning to look at him with sparkling eyes. Bones put the PADD down on his desk, giving her his full attention. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Well, after a long-ass interrogation to figure out more similarities and differences between my reality and yours, I got bored,” Jamie said with a shrug. “Reverse engineering the accident that brought me here is a bit beyond me anyhow. Hacking the holodeck for a porn sim? Yeah, I’m your gal no question.” Bones snorted; Jim had similar sims, not that he was supposed to know about them. “But recreating a transporter accident that hops dimensions and realities? I think I’ll leave that to Mad Chief Engineer and Commander Science is my Real True Love.”

Bones nodded as something occurred to him. “I’m surprised you’re not on the bridge, in that case.”

Jamie hesitated. “Well, I went for a few minutes. But…and this will probably make me sound like an arrogant ass or something…what’s the point of me being on it if I can’t sit in the chair? All I can do is hover or give advice when Jim makes orders, and something tells me the latter won’t be appreciated.” She shrugged one shoulder, tilting her head to one side, and Bones’ eyes drifted down her elegant neck. “I’m superfluous right now, honestly. So…I decided to come to my second favorite place on the ship.” 

Jamie flashed him a winning smile as she pulled the ends of her hair towards her face, as if checking them for split ends. Jocelyn did something similar on occasion, usually when she was working up the gumption to ask him an awkward question.

Bones watched Jamie for a minute, and the look on her face was all Jim in his rare moments of not knowing how to say something. Jim was more the barging ahead and tact-be-damned type, and so far Jamie was the same. Bones sighed. “Spit it out while we’re young.”

Jamie dropped her hair, with a face that was equal parts annoyed and impressed. Her eyebrow rose, and half of a smirk played across her lips. “Are we really that similar?”

“As far as I can see, the only difference is one of you has two X chromosomes, while the other is XY,” Bones said with a smirk of his own.

Jamie exhaled up her face before grinning. “I should know better than to underestimate how well you can figure me out, Bones. My Bones is better at reading me than everyone, including Sam and my mom. Why would you be different?”

It was odd, because he had only known her for a few hours, but…he could read everything about her, as he could with Jim. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” she said. Jamie sighed before leaning forward. Her eyes held equal parts curiosity and something akin to…if he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought it was jealousy. “So. You and Jim,” she said.

“Me and Jim…?” Bones asked, unable to keep a note of trepidation out of his voice.

Clearing her throat, Jamie looked away for a second before staring at him head-on and saying, “You and Jim…you’re a couple.”

“A couple of what?” Bones asked, his mouth moving faster than his brain. 

Wait.

Shit.

“Oh,” he said, before she could reply. “No, we’re not…he’s…” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes as if he were very tired. “We’re just good friends.” His hand dropped to his lap, and his gaze found hers once more.

Jamie’s cheeks had flushed, and her mouth was open in surprise. “Oh…I just…the way he kept touching you, I assumed…”

Bones recalled the way Jim’s hand lingered on the small of his back, warm even through the fabric of the two uniform shirts. He sighed, wishing it meant something more. “No. He’s just touchy-feely and bad with personal space sometimes.”

Jamie’s expression shifted into one that was wistful. Her eyes glimmered a bit, brighter than they should have been. The smile on her face was self-deprecating and watery. “I had hoped you two were, to be honest. It’d…well,” she stopped, biting her bottom lip. She picked at her cuticles in her lap, something Bones saw Jim do when he was nervous. “It would be nice to see a Kirk and Bones get it right, is all.”

Bones’ eyes widened. He took a deep breath, staring at her in a mixture of confusion and shock.

Jamie’s eyes dropped down to the floor. Her next words were not laced with any bitterness or anger; they were sad, yes, but for the most part the tone of her voice was matter-of-fact and to the point, as if she recited data about a planet for a mission briefing. “My Bones…to him, I’m a kid sister or a drinking buddy. And occasionally, I’m his captain. But just once, I’d like him to see me as…as someone who would stop at nothing to make him happy.”

Bones swallowed as she turned her gaze back to him.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to make him see me as…” The words caught in her throat.

“A lover,” Bones finished. He wiped his palms off on his pants.

Jamie nodded. “Yeah.”

He debated with himself; he didn’t really know her, after all, and he hadn’t told anyone about his feelings, let alone Jim. But…it would be nice to discuss it with someone who understood. “We have opposite ends of the same problem, you and I.”

Jamie raised an eyebrow. She stopped picking at her fingers, instead choosing to fold her hands in her lap. 

Bones sighed. “I couldn’t tell you the day it happened, but…well. I can’t leave him behind. He’s…” Against his will, a smile, the barest hint of one, played across his lips. “He’s reckless, foolhardy, arrogant, stubborn, and he never looks before he leaps. He fights and hits things until he wins. Wild horses can’t drag him away from his latest and greatest hare-brained schemes.”

Jamie’s lips quirked up, and her eyes regained some of their natural light.

Bones gave her his full attention. “He’s perfect. He’s everything I’ll ever want.” Reality came crashing in, and his shoulders sagged a little. “And every time we go anywhere, he offers to be my wingman so I can sleep with someone else.”

Jamie’s eyes filled with sympathy. “At least he’s not always asking you to be his.”

Bones winced. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jamie said. “I want him to be happy, and he has fun so rarely, I don’t feel like I can say no. Even though…”

“Even though it kills you,” Bones said. “Jim is…well, he never met a person he didn’t love for a couple of hours. Except me, apparently.”

Jamie winced. “I love sex, and I definitely did a good amount of sleeping around at the Academy, but when I realized how deeply I love Bones, it slowed down. Now it’s pretty much only when he goes home with someone. I…get lonely. It makes me forget for a little while. That’s all.”

“Yeah, I don’t sit around crying about how I can never touch anyone else,” Bones admitted. “It makes him happy to play wingman, so I indulge him. Like you said, it makes the loneliness stop for a few hours.” He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand.

Jamie nodded. “You’re right. We have the same problem, but in reverse. And it sucks worse than Spock’s cooking.”

“Christ, I swear I can still taste that thing he called a casserole,” Bones said with a shudder. “I wake up in cold sweats from it sometimes.”

“I couldn’t tell if I had an allergic reaction, or if it was so terrible I was sick for three days,” Jamie said. Her face had gone green at the memory. “I still don’t understand how Chekov actually _liked_ it.”

“Chekov likes borscht,” Bones said. “He’s obviously not discriminating.”

“True,” Jamie said. She shifted her position in the chair, stretching for a moment as she propped her legs up on his desk. One ankle crossed over the other, and Bones noticed again how long and lean her legs were. Like the legs of a prize thoroughbred, thin but powerful. 

Bones turned his attention back to her face; her eyes focused on him, but they didn’t meet his gaze. They were aimed a little below, and Bones realized she was staring at his mouth. 

Jamie must have sensed his attention, because her eyes snapped up to his, and she gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry,” she said after a minute. “Just…I’m sorry.” Her face filled with an embarrassed flush, and she bit her bottom lip.

Bones shrugged. “I was staring at your legs, so consider us even.”

Jamie’s eyes widened for a second before her face got a very familiar and Jim-like expression; it was the face Jim wore every time he caught someone hot checking him out. It was equal parts shit-eating, pleased, and hungry, and for a minute, Bones wondered what he got himself into by being honest.

Bones cleared his throat, looking down at the PADD sitting on his desk. 

“They are excellent, aren’t they?” Jamie said. She lifted one, running her hand up her smooth thigh. Bones cleared his throat a second time, trying and failing to not follow the movement of her hand. “I run and do pilates. Sometimes I do yoga with Nyota.”

Bones tilted his head to one side, studying her. “I can’t tell if you’re saying that as a come on or if you’re telling the truth.”

“Can’t it be both?” Jamie said. 

Bones opened his mouth for a second before closing it. “Shut up.”

Jamie laughed, a full, deep one that caused her to throw her head back. It was very similar to Jim’s laugh, awkward and cute and wheezy. It made his spirits lift, and he laughed a little too. When she stopped, she faced him with a smile that showed her dimples. “Ah, Bones. I’m so glad you’re here. It makes this whole shit sandwich of a situation easier since I’ve got you.”

Bones smiled. “Of course you do, Jamie.” He checked the chronometer; his shift ended a while ago, and dinnertime approached. “How about I buy you supper?”

Jamie brightened. “That sounds great. Do you know what’s on the menu in the officer’s mess?”

Bones shook his head. “I don’t, sorry. But I’m sure it’s at least edible, unless Spock is moonlighting, and we don’t know about it.”

“Let’s cross our fingers and hope not,” Jamie said. She stood and stretched, her skirt riding up a couple of inches. 

Bones did everything he could to not stare, but every man had his weakness, and his always was a killer set of legs. He scolded himself to look up at her face, and he walked her to his office door. Without thinking about it, he put his hand on the small of her back and led her out of the office into the med bay proper.

The nurses and other doctors gave them looks, though their attention more focused on Jamie. Her steps faltered as she noticed, and Bones pressed his hand against her, offering support.

“Let’s go,” Bones whispered.

Jamie nodded, and they walked to a turbolift. Bones pushed the button for the deck with the officer’s mess, and Jamie stood next to him, brushing the hair off her neck with an idle expression. The lift door opened, and they stepped out, heading to the officer’s mess with quick strides.

There weren’t many other people in it, and they grabbed food, finding a two-person table with ease. Bones stared at Jamie’s chicken tenders and fries before rolling his eyes.

“What?” Jamie asked as she took a sip of her soda.

“There are these things, called vegetables,” Bones began. “They’re often green and leafy. They’re also good for you.”

Jamie scowled, dipping a piece of chicken into honey mustard. “Really? You’re doing this now?”

“When else would I do it?” Bones countered as he cut up his food. His dinner was a sensible baked chicken breast, steamed broccoli, and brown rice with a pad of butter. 

Jamie sighed, kicking her foot into his shin. Not enough to hurt or bruise, but it expressed her displeasure. “Stuff it.”

“Not a chance,” Bones said. 

Her face took on a sour expression. “You’re always such a jackass, Bones.”

“And you’re a spoiled princess who thinks she can do no wrong,” Bones answered.

Jamie stared at him. “You’ve known me for six hours.”

“Do I have to point out again how you and Jim are basically the same person with tiny differences?” Bones said with a sigh. “One chromosome. That’s it.”

Clucking her tongue, Jamie shook her head. “I refuse to believe we’re that similar. I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you that we’re not.”

There was a distinct note of _challenge accepted_ in her voice, the same quality Jim would get when told that something was a no-win scenario. It was a bit worrying, but for some reason, it made Bones feel...good. It made him feel wanted, though he couldn’t say why, and he forced back a smile. 

Jamie didn’t hide hers; she grinned with abandon, though there was something in her eyes that made Bones’ breath catch.

They went back to eating their dinner and spent the whole time talking.

\-----

With a surprising amount of pep in his step, Bones changed his clothes and walked to Jim’s quarters. He rang the door chime, and Jim opened it with a smile.

“Hey Bones,” he said with a gesture for him to come inside. Bones did as instructed, and he saw nachos and a cheese tray on the coffee table, along with a bottle of Jim’s special occasion whiskey. 

Bones stopped short, eyeing Jim with some slight suspicion. Jim wore a blue sweater that brought out his eyes and a pair of sleek black trousers that made his legs look a mile long and accentuated his ass. Bones couldn’t stop raking his eyes down his body, but he did have the decency to shake his head at himself for the trouble. 

“What’s all this?” Bones asked.

Jim shrugged, but there was a tension behind the movement Bones caught. “Oh…you know…” Jim said. He shrugged again and grabbed Bones by the shoulders, pushing him over to his couch. “Is a comedy okay with you?”

“Sure,” Bones said as he sat down. Jim grinned at him for a second before turning on his vidscreen and queuing up the film. 

“Lights, forty percent,” Jim called as he sat next to Bones. He draped his arm across the back of the couch, making Bones feel a bit warm. He could pretend Jim had his arm around him if he tried hard enough, and it was a really nice thought.

Jim cleared his throat as the movie started. It was a 20th century comedy that Bones had seen before thanks to Jocelyn. It was about a woman who decided to stop her best friend from marrying another woman, but it took about 65% of the film for her to realize it was because she was in love with him. Bones didn’t recall more of the details than that, though, so he got comfortable and watched the film.

They laughed at the appropriate parts, although Bones felt like the woman hell-bent on sabotaging her friend’s nuptials didn’t deserve him. At some point, Jim’s arm drifted down from the back of the couch onto Bones’ shoulders, and he leaned into it except when he felt the need to grab a nacho or sip of his whiskey.

The movie came to a close, and Bones stretched, grabbing another chip, making sure to get plenty of cheese on it. 

“That wasn’t bad,” Jim said as the credits rolled. “Not the funniest film I’ve ever seen but not the worst either.”

“How come you picked it?” Bones asked. “It’s not your usual taste.”

Jim gave Bones a quirky smile and a shrug. “Wanted something different to do with my friend, is all.”

Right, because friends was all they were. Bones’ smile froze for a second. “Oh.”

Jim gave Bones a long look with conflict in his eyes. “I mean…we’re best friends, right?”

Something about Jim’s voice was off, but for the life of him, Bones couldn’t identify what it was. His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, Jim.”

Jim smiled. “Good. Because…I’d never…I mean I wouldn’t…” For some reason, Jim paced around the room. He couldn’t meet Bones’ gaze, and his mouth contorted into a weird expression. He stopped pacing. “You’re my best friend,” he repeated.

Bones’ eyes narrowed further at this. Everything about Jim said he was conflicted and upset about something. His shoulders tensed, he worried his bottom lip with his teeth, his hands clenched into fists, and for the first time since they very first met, Bones could not read the look in his eyes. The words were genuine and true, but there was something more, something that Jim either couldn’t or wouldn’t say. 

Jim’s expression shifted to be expectant, his eyes clearing to fill with hope and affection. There was a lot of emotion in them, more than usual, and Bones swallowed, taken aback by it. It was deeper than his normal expressions, and Bones didn’t know what to say to it.

Before he could, it faded, and Jim’s face became his normal mix of friendly teasing and confident cheer.

The disappointment Bones felt was almost enough to drop him to his knees. He looked down at the floor, shaking his head a few times.

When he was able to look back up, Jim’s eyes had an inscrutable look. They were dark and dim, and the rest of his face made it look like he wanted to hit himself. Jim sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers for a minute.

Bones rolled his eyes and half-sighed, half-grumbled with exasperation. “If there’s something you want to say, best to get on with it.”

Jim opened his mouth before closing it. “I…” He sat back down next to Bones on the sofa, looking at him with a crooked smile. “I just want you to know that you’ve always been my best friend. And you always will be.”

Before Bones could react, Jim placed a hand on his thigh. His smile widened, brightened, and the expression in his eyes became clear. His face was the picture of kindness and devotion…

But not love.

Bones tried to smile. “I know, Jim. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Jim’s grin shone so much, it almost caused Bones pain. His hand squeezed Bones’ thigh once before it withdrew, and he wrapped his arm around his shoulders once more. Jim’s eyes darted to the now-empty screen, and he cleared his throat. “So I didn’t ask earlier, but how was your day?”

“Uneventful,” Bones said with a shrug. “Spent most of it talking, actually.”

Jim gave him a curious look. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Jamie came by, and we had dinner together,” Bones said.

Stiffening, Jim dropped his arm from his shoulders and pulled away.

Bones blinked. “Was it something I said?”

Jim’s face was a mask of darkness. “You’re hanging out with Jamie?”

“She came by, and I had nothing else going on, so we spent a few hours shooting the shit,” Bones said, wondering why he felt the need to defend himself. “Then it was dinner time, and it didn’t make sense to eat alone.”

“You could have called me for dinner if you didn’t want to eat alone,” Jim said, his voice with the same edge to it from earlier.

Bones shrugged. “You’re right, I could have, but I didn’t because she was right there in front of me. Besides, you’re normally busy on Saturdays around that time.”

Jim’s expression didn’t change. He continued to look at Bones with a combination of hurt and irritation.

“What is your problem?” Bones asked. 

“I don’t…have a problem,” Jim said. Good thing he was a starship captain and not an actor, otherwise with the pitiful performance he had given, he would starve. “It’s just a surprise, is all. I wouldn’t think you’d want to be around her so much.”

“It’s no different from being around you,” Bones said with a shrug. Well, okay. There was the _one_ difference. The difference where he could talk to her about Jim, and she understood because of her Bones. Jim didn’t need to know that. “You two are the same person, except for the obvious.”

Jim scoffed. “I highly doubt that.”

Bones sighed. “You’re being ridiculous. If you actually spoke to her without the giant chip on your shoulder, you’d see what I’m talking about.”

Growling, Jim cracked the knuckles of his left hand. “And just how would you deal with it if a random alternate-reality Leonard H. McCoy, MD/PhD showed up on our doorstep?”

Bones grimaced. 

“See?” Jim said. “It’s not so easy when it’s you, is it? It’s like looking in a fucking mirror, only a distorted funhouse mirror that turns my reflection into a woman. It’s off-putting and weird, and I don’t like how she’s acting like everyone on this ship is her friend. She doesn’t know us, she knows people who look like us. She’s overstepping a line.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “And just how is she supposed to act, Jim? Is she supposed to isolate herself and only speak when spoken to?”

It was Jim’s turn to grimace. 

“I mean, seriously Jim, put yourself in her shoes,” Bones said. “She’s stuck without any way to contact her people or see them. She’s completely alone here. So yeah, I’m hanging out with her because, in a way, I’m all she’s got.”

Jim’s hands clenched, and his mouth flattened into a taught line. 

Bones sighed and shook his head. “I really don’t understand what your problem is. If you were stuck on her _Enterprise_ with no way to communicate with us and no certainty that you would ever get back, you can’t convince me you wouldn’t gravitate to her Bones just to have someone to talk to.”

The anger drained out of Jim almost in an instant, his face becoming wan. His eyes had a guilty cast in them as he said, “That honestly hadn’t occurred to me.”

“Of course not,” Bones said with as little condescension as he could muster. 

Jim sighed as his shoulders sagged as if he had the weight of the _Enterprise_ on them, which he did.

“And I’m sure it hasn’t occurred to you,” Bones continued. “That she loves and cares for her crew as much as you do yours, and that being apart from them under these circumstances is frustrating and upsetting to her.”

Wiping a hand down his face, Jim gave Bones an interested look. “She told you all of this?”

“She doesn’t have to,” Bones said. “It’s in how her thoughts wander and the look in her eyes. I’ve seen you have that look every time we’re in danger. I know it like I do my own name.”

Jim stared at Bones for a long time. “I’m being unfair to her.”

“A bit,” Bones said as he realized what that Jim's problem was. It was jealousy, pure and simple. “It figures the only person you’d envy is yourself.”

A flush flooded Jim’s cheeks. He sputtered for a while. “I’m…that’s stupid…I don’t…me? Jealous?” He laughed. “That’s not possible. I don’t do jealousy.”

“There’s no shame in it,” Bones said. “It happens to us all.”

Jim chuckled, although it was bitter. “I’m not jealous, Bones. I have…there’s no reason why I should be,” he said, but his voice sounded disbelieving and muddled, as if he didn’t believe his own words. 

Sighing, Bones clapped a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “No one will judge you if you’re jealous that a female you is running around your ship. And if they do, fuck them. They have no concept of empathy.”

Jim squirmed under Bones’ hand with an uncomfortable look on his face. “Me? Jealous?” he said.

Bones rolled his eyes. “You’re an actual, legitimate, stamped and certified genius, Jim. This shouldn’t be so hard for you to grasp.”

Jim glared at him with a scowl. “Shut up, Bones. I’m not jealous.”

Bones shrugged, grabbing his whiskey to take a long pull from it. “Of course not, dear,” he said with a sardonic edge. Once he finished drinking, and after he put the glass back on the coffee table, Jim whipped out a throw pillow, beaning him across the face. “What the actual fuck?”

Jim laughed. “I told you to shut up, dickbag.”

Bones grabbed the other pillow, and before Jim could run or stop him, slammed it hard into the bridge of Jim’s nose. “Go fuck yourself, princess.”

Jim froze with a stricken look on his face. “Considering I could theoretically and literally go do that…” Before he could finish, Bones hit him again. This snapped Jim out of his horrified reverie, and he growled, rallying to pummel Bones in the chest with his pillow. 

Bones snorted, stealing the pillow out from Jim’s hands and resorting to dirty-pool. He tackled Jim to the sofa, lifted his right arm, and jabbed his finger into his armpit, tickling him in a manner that was merciless.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, _oh shit_ ,” Jim shouted, his laughter bubbling up and filling the room. 

“You brought it on yourself,” Bones said, laughing as well. 

Jim cackled, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as Bones continued his assault. He threw his head back, struggling to breathe and wheezing as Bones didn’t let up. Bones watched him with satisfaction; he was also unable to ignore how gorgeous Jim looked. 

All it would take is bending down to kiss him...

His laughter dying, Bones instead let go of Jim and stopped his tickling. He backed away from him, going for another drink. 

Jim calmed himself, his laughter still coming out sporadically as he sat up. His face was bright red as he glared at Bones. “I hate it when you do that,” he said.

“Meh,” Bones said with a shrug.

Jim snorted. “Want to watch another movie? We’re both on beta shift tomorrow.”

Bones contemplated the liquid in his tumbler. Finally, he said, “Sure, Jim.”

Smiling, Jim queued up another film. His arm went around Bones’ shoulders again, and Bones leaned all the way into it this time, a small smile forming across his lips. 

It was a good night, and Bones was content.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie's here, but how is Jim handling her presence?
> 
> Not well, I'd imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All author's notes in the previous chapter.

The next day would have started as usual, except Bones found himself in the transporter room with Jim, Jamie, and Spock. He stood with his hands on his hips as he watched Scotty rewire the transporter computer console.

“Let me see if I understand you correctly,” he said, and Jamie and Jim both glanced at him. They stood with their weight resting on their left leg, their arms crossed over their chests, and with their right eyebrows raised. Bones trailed off for a second at the sight of them looking so similar before continuing. “Because our transporters were powered down and disabled when Jamie appeared, you have no way of figuring out how to recreate the incident that brought her here?”

Scotty looked up at him with an offended frown. “I didn’t say that. I said it will be _harder_ , Leonard, not _impossible_. I’m reviewing the conditions on the outside of the ship to see if there were any phenomena causing the wires to get crossed, so to speak. An ion storm, for example, or radiation clouds…even a thunderstorm on the world Jamie had beamed to.”

Bones pursed his lips, his eyebrows knitting together. “If these damn things are _that_ temperamental, why the hell do we rely on them?”

The Kirks shot him looks that were fond and amused. At least, until Jim noticed Jamie looking at Bones, and he scowled for a second, moving closer to him. Bones sighed.

So much for playing nice.

Turning his attention back to the Chief Engineer, Bones noticed the aggrieved expression on Scotty’s face. “I don’t insult your medical equipment, do I?” he asked with venom.

“My medical equipment doesn’t discorporate sentient beings into atoms, scattering them across space, and then hopefully putting them back together right,” Bones grumbled.

Jamie nudged his shoulder with hers. Jim scowled again, putting a hand on Bones’ other shoulder. Bones gave Jim a pointed glance with a slight shrug.

Scotty glared at Bones for a minute before clearing his throat. Before he could react, Spock addressed them. “While getting Captain Kirk back to her _Enterprise_ will prove to be more difficult than we anticipated, it is not out of the realm of possibility. We shall have to find her reality before proceeding.”

Jamie sighed, scuffing the toe of her boot on the floor. She frowned, her shoulders sagging as she cast her eyes downward. Bones reached out to place a hand on her back, rubbing a light circle across her shoulders. With a grateful smile, Jamie looked up at him. 

Jim cleared his throat, squeezing Bones’ shoulder in a pointed manner. In turn, Bones gave him a look with a raised eyebrow. Clearing his throat a second time, Jim’s cheeks flushed, and his eyes darted away. Bones rolled his own and focused back on Spock and Scotty.

“How this will proceed is Mister Scott and I will create a device to isolate Captain Kirk’s reality,” Spock continued. “Once we have accomplished this task and found the appropriate timeline, then we will be able to contact the other crew of the _Enterprise_ , determine the circumstances of Captain Kirk’s appearance on our vessel, duplicate them, and send her home.”

“Oh, is that all?” Bones quipped. 

Spock looked at Bones with a reproachful expression. For once, Bones had the decency to look contrite. 

“Do I need to stay to give you and Velma more clues about where I’m from?” Jamie said with a jerk of her head towards Scotty.

“Spock is Velma,” Jim said, and his tone was snide. “Scotty is Fred.”

Jamie rolled her eyes. “Who cares?”

“If you’re going to make a reference like that, the least you can do is commit to it,” Jim said, just as rude as he did a second ago. 

Jamie’s face scrunched up as she gave him a long look. “Whatever,” she said. “I wasn’t aware part of our duties as Starfleet captains involved being the joke police.”

Scotty and Spock both looked at them with interest, and Bones realized he stood dead smack in the middle of them. “Children,” he said as he looked up to the ceiling. “Don’t.”

Jim let go of Bones, pushing him to the side. Bones sputtered, giving Jim an indignant look. Jim stood right in front of Jamie, looking down at her with a glare. Jamie, in turn, tilted her head up with defiance. 

The hostility radiated off both of them, and Bones shoved himself in between but facing Jim. “No,” Bones said. “Or I swear to God I’ll put both of you in separate corners for a half hour.”

“Bones,” they said in unison before they stopped. Jim’s face flushed a bit, and his eyes were hard. Bones crossed his arms and met his gaze. His back was to Jamie, so he couldn’t see her, but she had to look similar to Jim given the way he stared over Bones’ shoulder at her. 

“No, I don’t want to hear it,” Bones said. “You’re both being stupid and infantile. If I let this go, you’ll end up beating the shit out of each other.”

“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea,” Jamie piped up.

Bones turned around. “No.”

“Aw but Bones,” Jamie said, batting her eyelashes with a sweet smile.

“Nope,” Bones said. “It’s not productive or anything deeper than a fucking pissing match. Not on my watch.” He turned to Jim, who had a blank look on his face. “That goes for you too.”

Jim shrugged. “Don’t really get off on fighting women anyhow. Even if they’re allegedly me.”

That was the wrong thing to say, evidenced by Jamie’s face hardening. Her lips pursed, and her eyes glinted like steel. Her hands also clenched at her sides. 

“Shit,” Bones whispered. He grabbed Jamie, pulling her away from Jim before she could break his nose. Her face had gone white except for two pink spots on her cheeks. “No,” he said to her in a low growl.

“Come the fuck on, Bones,” Jamie said. “Let me wipe that face off his head.”

“No, Jamie,” Bones said. “I’ll talk to him, all right? I know he’s being shit-headed, and I thought after last night he wouldn’t be anymore. I don’t really get what his damage is…but I’ll talk to him and make him stop, all right?”

“I don’t need you to white knight for me, Bones,” Jamie said.

“I’m not trying to imply you can’t stand up for yourself,” Bones said. “I’m just saying I can get through to him better than you can. Let me sit him down.”

Some of her natural coloring returned to her face, and Jamie relaxed her hands. “Fine. But if he acts like this again, I’m taking him to the mats.”

“If he acts like this again, I’ll be your referee,” Bones said. “Excuse me.” He left her to grab Jim, whose face became a wounded and nauseated puppy dog's. Without ceremony, Bones steered him into a corner. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Oh sure, fucking take her side,” Jim spat, shifting almost instantly into frustration.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side because both of you have the maturity of six year olds,” Bones said. “ _Developmentally challenged_ six year olds.”

Jim glared at him, but he didn’t answer. The look in his eyes said he realized Bones was right. He frowned and looked away, and Bones sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, Jim,” Bones said. “Last night you admitted you’re being too hard on her, and now you’re turning around and getting pissed at everything she says. How is that letting up on her?”

“That was before…” Jim clamped his mouth shut.

Narrowing his eyes, Bones placed his hands on his hips. “Before what?”

Frustration filled Jim’s bright blue eyes as he shook his head. “Before…I…I don’t…you’re not supposed to take her side, okay?”

Bones’ brows furrowed. What? “I have no idea what you’re talking about, I just told you I wasn’t doing anything of the sort.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jim said. His eyes went down to the floor as if he was fascinated by the tops of Bones’ boots. “I’m sure you have no idea what I’m talking about, pulling her aside and telling her you’ll handle me.” Bones gave him an incredulous look. “What? You were only a few meters away, and neither of you exactly lowered your voices.”

Bones sighed. “You all but spit on her, what the hell am I supposed to tell her?”

Jim’s voice made a strangled rumble deep in his throat. “If you’re not taking sides, then you _can’t fucking take sides_. That’s all I’m saying.”

Not understanding why calming Jamie down first was taking a side, Bones shook his head. He almost said something before he tried to look at it from Jim’s point of view. It had been Jim and Bones, just them for so long, it was probably upsetting for Jim to have Jamie around at all, and he still hadn’t admitted the fact that he was jealous. Bones raised both of his hands. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” Jim looked confused by the acquiescence. Which was understandable given that was pretty far from how Bones rolled as a rule of thumb.

“Okay, I’m not going to take a side again,” Bones said. “Going forward, I’ll talk to both of you at once.”

Jim’s eyebrows rose, and his expression stated that he didn’t buy it. “Just like how you talked to both of us just now?”

Bones sighed. “What do you want from me, Jim?”

For some reason, this made Jim grimace. His face went a bit pale, and he looked at everything in the room that wasn’t Bones. He stood like that for so long, Bones almost waved his hand in front of his face to get his attention again. 

Eventually, Jim sighed, his attention focused on a piece of tile on the floor near his right foot. “Just…don’t do this again,” he said. Jim looked at Spock and Scotty. “Are we done?”

“For the time being, I’d say so,” Scotty said with a shrug. Spock inclined his head in the slightest nod.

“Good,” Jim said. “I’m going to the bridge.” His eyes found Bones’ again, and the look in them was a cross between pain and rage. “Bye.”

He walked out the transporter room, the door sliding closed in his wake. Bones scrubbed a hand down his mouth as he hissed, “God fucking damn it.”

A hand gripped his shoulder, and without looking he knew it belonged to Jamie. He sighed, loudly, and turned to look at her.

Jamie shrugged with a frown. “I didn’t realize I was such a petty dickhead in this ‘verse.”

Rolling his eyes, Bones looked down at her with a sour expression.

“What?” Jamie asked with wide eyes.

“Don’t give me that horseshit,” Bones said. “Jim tries that look on me all the time, and it never works. You’re just as bad, rising to his bait. Yeah, he’s being stupid, but so are you by falling for it.”

Jamie’s expression became indignant. She tapped two fingers against her biceps with a scowl. “Fine. I’ll be nothing but sweetness and light in order to spare his highness’ precious widdle feewings.”

“Not helpful,” Bones admonished.

“Not trying to be,” Jamie admitted with a shrug. 

“Fair enough,” Bones said. He glanced up at Scotty and Spock, who were doing…something on a computer console. “You gents still need us?”

“Nah,” Scotty said without looking up at him. “Go back about your business, Leonard.”

“Sure,” Bones said with a wave of his hand. “The routine patching up of all of the inane injuries this crew manages to cause themselves. Maybe someone’s arm will get blown off in a tragic gardening accident.”

Spock’s face became positively apoplectic at the mere thought. Scotty gave Leonard a look that was a cross between exasperation and affection. “I promise you’ll be the first one I call if something goes awry.”

“Oh joy,” Bones said under his breath. “Well, let me get back down to where I actually belong. Gentlemen,” he said with a tip of his head to Scotty and Spock. “Lady,” he said after a moment to Jamie.

Bones strode out of the transporter room, managing to get most of the way down the hall until he heard a soft, “No one’s ever called me one of those and been sincere before.”

Bones froze mid-step, pivoting 180 degrees to face Jamie. Her eyes were dark and confused, her face devoid of emotion. 

“Called you what? A royal pain in the ass instigator? I find that hard to believe as there’s another me in your universe,” Bones said.

Her mouth twitched. “A lady. No one’s ever called me a lady.”

Her tone was so sad and stunned and even flattered, Bones found his irritation fled his body in one giant, sweeping wave. He felt a rush of sympathy and pity for her, and he realized that Jamie was much like a bird with a broken wing; all she wanted was to fly home, but she couldn’t. Not without depending upon the kindness of people who looked and acted like her friends but who actually weren’t.

Bones’ eyes softened. “No one? Not even your mother or Sam when you were a kid?”

Her eyes looking brighter than they should have, Jamie shook her head a few times. 

Thinking back to times at the Academy where Jim got accused of coasting by on his father’s name and how he tried so hard to make it seem like it didn’t matter, Bones took a few steps toward her. He’d seen this facial expression during every one of those incidents, and his instinct, as it would be with her counterpart, was to comfort.

Before he could really process it, Bones pulled her into a hug. She stiffened at first, her spine going rigid under his touch before her hands clutched at the fabric of his shirt. 

Just as he had the day before, Bones filled with a combination of affection and guilt. It was so easy to treat her the way he ached to treat Jim, and yet she _wasn’t_ Jim. She had been on the ship for a day, and he was already forgetting that.

Bones cleared his throat, pulling back from her. Jamie’s head had rested on his shoulder, and she flushed a pretty shade of pink. Her arms dropped to her sides, and she looked at him before turning away.

“You’re a lady,” he said. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise.”

Jamie’s flush deepened. Her eyes lit up before adopting a more normal expression. “I keep having to remind myself,” Jamie said in a whisper.

“Of what?” Bones asked. He put his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels.

“That you’re not him,” Jamie said. “You keep saying these things, things I’ve wanted him to say…I have to keep reminding myself you’re not actually him.”

Bones nodded. “I…have a similar issue.”

She smiled, coy and coquettish. “Really? Even with my added parts here?” She gestured to her chest. “And missing parts here?” She waved her hand in front of her crotch.

Bones rolled his eyes so hard for a second he thought they’d get frozen in the back of his head. “Unbelievable. You cannot mentally be older than twelve.”

Jamie waggled her eyebrows. “You know you love it, Bones.”

Opting not to answer with words, he rolled his eyes again as he walked toward the turbolift. Jamie followed him. He pushed the button, and it arrived within a few seconds. “You coming?”

Jamie grinned. “If you want.”

Bones shrugged; he did, that was part of the problem. “It’s up to you.”

The lift door slid open, and before Bones could enter it, Jamie sped past him, standing near the buttons. “Come on, then.”

Bones snorted, stepping into it and standing to her right. She pushed the button for deck six, the door closed, and they left.

\-----

Jamie hung out in medical until lunchtime, when she begged off to go work out in the gym. She also had to get changes in clothes from the quartermaster, as all she had with her were her uniform dress, boots, and undergarments. Guest quarters had been provided for her, so that wasn't an issue, but she couldn't keep wearing the same clothing day in and day out. She hadn't even had anything to sleep in the night before.

Bones had wrapped up with a patient when Jim came into sick bay. “Bones,” he said with a slight smile. “Time for lunch?”

Giving him a confused look as he tried to recall if he and Jim had plans or not, Bones blinked. Determining that they didn’t, he shrugged. “If you want,” Bones said after a minute.

Jim brightened, his grin sparkling and shining, lighting up his whole face. Unable to help himself, Bones felt a smile form on his own. His heart skipped as he took in the way the open expression made Jim look boyish and dashing, and Bones felt light at the fact that it was just for him.

“Just let me finish up my notes,” Bones said as he went into his office. 

Jim followed, flopping into his chair. “No problem. Take your time.”

Bones did as promised, finishing a patient’s notes on his computer. He had almost finished when he felt someone staring at him. He glanced up and saw that Jim had his eyes fixated on his face.

“What’s up?” Bones asked as he looked back down at his work.

Jim’s cheeks turned pink. His eyes darted away. “I…nothing.”

Bones tilted his head to one side, giving his friend the once over. “Okay,” he said, going back to his work. He finished the bulk of it, with only one thing to sign off on when he noticed it again. His eyes lifted from the monitor to Jim, who didn’t notice. Jim’s face was still pink, and his eyes were locked on…if Bones didn’t know any better, he’d have thought Jim stared at his lips.

Wishful thinking and little else, because Jim didn’t find him attractive. It was a holdover from Jamie doing that the day before. 

Bones sighed, tidying up his work and turning off his computer. He stood, fixing the waistband of his regulation trousers as he did. “Ready?”

Jim’s eyes snapped up to his face as he cleared his throat. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They walked together to the turbolift, taking it up to the officer’s mess. Once they arrived, they got their food and sat at a table for two. Belatedly, Bones realized it was the same table he sat at with Jamie the night before. He even sat in the same chair.

For once, Jim had a salad with grilled chicken. Bones grabbed a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup, and he eyed Jim’s choice of entrée with trepidation.

After a minute, Jim realized he was staring. “What?” Jim asked around a mouthful of greens and dressing.

“You got a salad,” Bones said with a shrug. “Voluntarily, I mean. Normally the only time you get anything green on your plate is if I’ve put it there or changed your meal card behind your back.”

Jim flushed again, paying close attention to his plate. “I felt like something different, is all.” He looked up at Bones with a semblance of his usual teasing smirk. “I’d think it would please you, Bones.”

It actually did please him, more than it should have, but Bones couldn’t voice that to Jim. He shook his head a few times. “It’s a welcome change, I’ll say that much.”

Jim seemed to brighten at this, but only a little. “That’s a glowing review coming from you.”

“If I doled out praise like candy, even to you, it’d lessen the impact and sincerity,” Bones said. He dipped a corner of his sandwich into the soup, taking a large bite.

Jim looked even more pleased by this than he did before. “I know, Bones. I’m just saying that when you do make those comments, they’re appreciated. A lot.” Jim’s voice was husky, roughened with a surprising amount of emotion that caught Bones off guard and made his face flush.

Clearing his throat, Bones looked back down at his food. “Thanks, Jim. That means…everything.” He looked back up at his friend with an open smile, and it almost fell off his face at the look on Jim’s.

Jim also had a smile on his face, but it was the softest one Bones had ever seen. It was full of…

Bones sighed, picking at the crust of his sandwich. No, it wasn’t love. It was just an affectionate smile between best friends.

“What’s wrong?” Jim said. 

Bones hazarded a glance at him; he looked subdued and somewhat disappointed, though Bones couldn’t figure out why that would be. “Nothing. It’s not important. We’re close friends, so our opinions of each other matter.” He dipped the sandwich, taking a bite without really tasting it. “That’s all.”

Jim became silent, shoving the food on his plate around with his fork. Bones continued to eat for a while before looking at him again; Jim’s expression was blank in a way it hadn’t been since the last time Bones saw him argue with the brass. 

“Are you all right?” Bones asked.

“I…” Jim said without looking up. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re not eating,” Bones continued. “You only ever do that when something’s wrong. Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not sick,” Jim said. “Just getting full.”

“Uh huh,” Bones said. “Try again.”

Jim looked up at him with a smile, but it was the fake one he used for people he didn’t know very well. It failed to reach his eyes, and Bones knew at once it was from something he said. “I’m fine, Bones, really. Just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

There were several ways Bones could handle this situation. He could ignore it, let them finish their lunch. He could ask him about it later, steering him back to medical with a bullshit excuse. Or he could force the issue, berating him until he got the truth.

Doing the latter in the mess would result in a scene. Ignoring it wouldn’t solve anything, and since when the fuck had Bones ever ignored anything anyway? “When we’re done, can you come back to medical with me for a bit?” Bones asked. “There’s something I remembered I need to get you to sign off on.”

Jim looked at him with a professional smile. “Sure. Anything for you, Bones.”

The phrasing caught Bones’ attention, but he filed it away for later. “Thanks, Jim. You know I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Jim said. They returned to eating in companionable silence, and every now and then, their eyes would meet. They would smile at each other before looking back at their food.

It reminded Bones, strangely, of sixth grade and his interactions with Rebecca Paulsen. They sat with each other every day for a few weeks at lunch; they would talk and kind of smile. He’d had a thing for her, but she never outright said if she liked him that way and after a while, she stopped sitting with him to be with her girlfriends. 

Bones swallowed. In a way, it wasn’t surprising. He was head over heels for Jim. It was a surprise that he was so juvenile about his feelings, but he had no real outlet for them. 

Well, except in talking to Jamie. 

Bones grimaced; yeah, they were in a similar situation. And yeah, it was basically telling Jim without actually telling Jim, but he needed to not rely on her too much or sound off on her about it too often. For one thing, it couldn’t be easy on her to hear it, as it was a painful reminder of what she could have and didn’t. 

More to the point, it wasn’t right. If he couldn’t tell Jim, he shouldn’t tell her. That was all there was to it. 

Bones glanced up from his food to give Jim a look; he happened to be staring at him with a strange expression. “You look constipated,” Jim declared with his typical tact and aplomb. “What’s eating you?”

“Nothing,” Bones lied. “Just thinking about all the shit I have to do before our next mission.”

Jim didn’t look convinced. “Ah. Yeah, that’d bring anyone down. Hopefully we won’t have to reset the Days Since Our Last Diplomatic Incident Calendar.”

“What was the record for that again? Forty-seven?” Bones asked.

“Forty-six,” Jim said. “We’re currently at thirty. Spock is looking pretty cagey, so hopefully things will go okay.”

“Poor Spock’s feelings,” Bones said in a dry tone. “How awful.”

Jim grinned. “You’re such a dick to him.”

“Guilty,” Bones said. “Though he’s not exactly an angel in our interactions.”

“True,” Jim said. “I don’t know; it’s fun watching you two go at it, although sometimes I feel like your dad. ‘Yes, dear, you’re _both_ pretty,’ and whatnot.”

Pursing his lips, Bones rolled his eyes. “Fuck off, Jim.”

Jim smiled, a warm soothing one that made Bones’ heart flip. “I didn’t specify who I think is prettier…and that someone is definitely you, Bones.”

“Yeah sure, it’s just because you know Nyota would have your balls for lunch if you tried,” Bones said with a shrug. “I saw how she glared at you when she found out what the elder Spock said about your destiny.”

Jim looked a bit disappointed for some reason, although Bones again couldn’t discern why. “No that’s…that’s not…” He sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I mean, like I said the other night: pointy ears and eyebrows don’t do it for me.”

“Amen,” Bones said. 

Jim’s expression became somewhat sly. “So xenophobic.”

“On our last Shore Leave, I spent the night with Andorian twins,” Bones reminded him.

Jim’s face contorted again, this time with a look that was borderline sick. What was going on? “Okay fine. Vulcanist. Like racist but…logical.”

“The whole point of racism is that it isn’t logical,” Bones couldn’t help but point out. “It’s fear based and irrational.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t like Spock? Because you sound like him right now.”

“If you’re gonna get nasty, I’m gonna leave,” Bones said with a dark grin.

“I call it like I see it,” Jim said with a grin of his own. He looked down at their plates, which were empty. “You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s head back down to medical,” Bones said, standing from the table and stretching.

Jim’s eyes drifted down his torso before jerking back up to his face. “Sure, Bones. Let’s go.”

They put their trays in the recycler and made their way back to Bones’ office. Once inside, Jim flopped in his chair with his feet propped up on Bones’ desk. Bones paced behind his desk for a while before turning to him.

“What’s up? I need to get back to the bridge in a sec,” Jim asked.

Bones braced his hands against his chair. “There’s something going on with you. What the hell is going on?”

Jim licked his lips, his eyes moving over everything in the office except Bones. “I’m fine, Bones,” he said.

There was a long pause.

“That is the least convincing thing you have ever said to me,” Bones said. “And that includes your story about how Gaila ended up with a pair of my boxers.”

“In my defense, I didn’t know she had taken them until I went to her dorm and saw her wearing them,” Jim said. “And she looked hot. So.”

“Gaila. Looked hot. In other news, water is wet, Vulcans are logical, and Pike went grayer from your ass being at the academy,” Bones drawled, unimpressed.

“I’m still irritated you slept with her before I did,” Jim mumbled.

Bones closed his eyes and shook his head a few times. “It was years ago. Get over it already.” Then he realized what happened. “You shithead. You’re derailing me.”

Jim shrugged with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I told you I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Bones said. “Something is bothering you. You've been getting these weird looks on your face when we’re together, and that doesn't cover how you keep staring at me. What is your deal?”

Jim's eyes narrowed, and his jaw scrunched up. He opened his mouth for a moment before closing it. “Have drinks with me,” came out, and he looked as surprised by the words as Bones felt.

Bones stared at him for at least three minutes. “What?” 

Jim swallowed as he picked at his cuticles. “Tonight. After dinner. Come to my quarters for drinks.”

“That doesn’t at all answer my question,” Bones said. He folded his arms across his chest, fixing a pointed gaze onto Jim. 

“I’m fine, there’s nothing going on with me except that…I want to spend time with you,” Jim said. Two pink spots formed on his cheeks, and he favored Bones with a crooked smile. “Just...have drinks with me tonight.”

His tone had a hint of pleading and desperation, as if he expected Bones to storm out or yell at him. Bones sighed, dropping his arms and raising a hand to his temple. “For the life of me, I cannot figure you out right now.”

“Is that a yes?” Jim asked. He tried –and failed- to keep his nervousness out of his voice.

Bones sighed. “Yes, I will meet you for drinks after dinner.” He pointed at Jim, his facial expression nothing short of saying _j’accuse_. “And you’re going to spill what the fuck your problem is.”

Jim stood somewhat hastily, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’ve told you six times, there’s no problem. I just want to hang out. With _you_.”

Shaking his head a few times, Bones frowned. “You suddenly want to do that an awful lot, Jim. I normally don’t see you this much.”

Now Jim looked like a kid who had been caught drawing on freshly painted walls with permanent marker. “I can’t want to spend more time with you?” His voice sounded somewhat sad, like he was hurt by Bones’ questions.

Bones sighed, looking down at the floor. “You can. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden you want us to be joined at the hip.”

Jim flashed a quirky grin like mercury, giving off a devil-may-care vibe that Bones immediately saw through. It was what Jim did when people he didn’t know well tried to act too close to him.

But why would he do that with Bones? 

“I just had a realization about how much fun I have with you. So I want to hang out as much as I can while we have relative downtime. Promise, Bones, that’s all.”

Studying him for another minute, and against his better judgment, Bones decided to let it drop. “Sure, Jim. You better head back to the bridge, so I’ll see you tonight.”

Jim grinned, getting up from the chair and walking to the door. “See you, Bones. Looking forward to it.”

He left, and Bones watched him go. Maybe after he had a drink or two, he could get the real reason out of Jim.

For now, he had paperwork and patients.

\-----

Several hours later, Bones’ shift ended, and he turned out the lights in his office. Before he could power down the computer, his door chime sounded. “Come in,” he called, and after he had done so, Jamie walked in.

Instead of the command dress, she stood before him in a gray Starfleet sports bra and a cropped pair of skintight black running pants. Sweat stained her face and hair, and a towel lay wrapped around her shoulders.

Bones stared at her for a minute. “Have you just been working out since lunch?”

“Not just,” Jamie said with a shrug. “Getting all the clothes took a while, and I didn’t want to cart them around with me so I unpacked them in my room. Then I ate, and _then_ I went to the gym. Ran for a while, then did pilates, then sat in the sauna, and now…here I am.”

Bones’ eyes focused for a second on the taut skin of her stomach; it was pale from her not having been in the sun for a while, but it was perfectly toned. He shook his head to clear it, bringing his eyes back up to her face. 

From the shit-eating grin she wore, he reckoned he had been caught. “You’re a dirty old man,” she said.

Bones shrugged. “If I did something like drop my stylus and make you bend over to pick it up, then I think that comment would be justified. Instead, I feel I am merely appreciative, ma’am.”

A wicked gleam formed in her eyes as her towel dropped to the ground behind her. “Oh dear,” she said, “I better get my towel.” 

She turned her back to him, and as if in slow motion, bent over to pick it up. She lingered that way, shaking her ass from side to side. 

And it was a pretty spectacular ass, all things considered. 

Clearing his throat, Bones did his best to lock the dirty thoughts away in a chest to never see them again. Jamie being, to use Jim vernacular, “fine as hell” was kind of a problem…but in the best way. 

Bones thought about Jim and wondered if he could pull off the dropping things and making him bend over trick with him. Jim’s ass was also magnificent, and Bones wasn’t above clinging to the little things.

Damn, Jamie was right. He _was_ a dirty old man. 

Well, in a manner of speaking. No power in the galaxy could make him lust after Chekov. Not to mention, Scotty would probably fuck up transporting him someplace on purpose, and he’d end up with his spleen on the outside of his body, like for his ears or something.

Bones shuddered, the thought of that enough to cool his jets regarding Jamie’s blatant sexiness. And also Jim’s.

Jesus, why was his life so complicated all of a sudden?

Jamie picked up the towel, standing up straight. She shifted her weight onto one leg, arched her back a little, and turned her head over her shoulder to look at Bones. Then she winked.

His cheeks flushing against his will, Bones growled. “It’d figure that a female Jim would be a fucking minx.”

Jamie smiled as she chewed on her bottom lip, giving him a seductive look from under her lashes. Bones shifted how he stood as he tried to think unsexy thoughts. Which didn’t work because he imagined Jim doing the same pose, and it caused him to swear under his breath. Before Jamie could move, Bones turned his back to her, walked to his wall, and banged his head against it.

The sound of her hysterical laughter filled his office, and Bones smiled as he did it again. He turned around, and she stood with her hand on her hip with a grin he saw on Jim’s face every time Jim teased him. “Ah straight men,” Jamie said. “I swear I could set a watch by you guys.”

Bones smirked. “Oh I’m sure if I were to pull a similar stunt, you wouldn’t drool over it. We both know that, as opposed to the bulk of the population, I actually like doing squats.”

Jamie tilted her head to one side. “Meh.”

His eyes narrowed. Two could play this game. He reached up the ceiling, stretching enough that his shirts rode up, exposing some of his stomach. His pants dipped a little on his waist, and like clockwork, Jamie’s eyes focused on the exposed skin. Bones smirked before stopping, walking around his desk near her. She watched him go with interest, and before he could open the door, he went into a lunge. 

“Jesus,” he heard her whisper.

He stopped stretching and turned to her with an evil grin. “Check mate,” he said as he pointed at her.

Jamie’s eyes stayed below his waist longer than they should have before they focused on his face. She shook her head at him. “Fine. You’ve proven your point. Also I swear I could bounce yogurt off your glutes. It’s fucking criminal.”

“Yeah, well,” Bones said with a wave of his hand. He did not mention what he contemplated doing to her abs earlier. 

It involved hot fudge.

Damn, he needed a vacation off the ship and far away from every permutation of Jim/Jamie/whatever Kirk in creation. Yes, he’d hijack a shuttle and hang on a sign on it that said “No Kirks allowed.” He paused at the desperation that had to be involved for him to steal a shuttle before shrugging it off.

Jamie raised an eyebrow.

Bones smiled. “Nothing. Let’s roll.”

Jamie gestured for him to lead, and he did. Before he got too far ahead of her, something flung and whipped him on the ass, stinging and sharp like the crack of a whip. Bones’ eyes narrowed, he glowered, and he turned on a dime to face her.

Sure enough, she held her towel in one hand tightly coiled up. Jamie had snapped him with it.

“Why are you such a child?” Bones said.

Jamie smirked. “You didn’t mind it. In fact, I bet you liked it.”

“You’d lose everything,” Bones groused as he rubbed the sore spot. “I’m not actually into pain.” He smirked. “Well, that isn’t entirely true, as why else would I put up with everything you and Jim do.”

Jamie tsked. “Sick burn, Bones.”

“Thank you,” Bones said. “You coming or what?”

“Phrasing,” Jamie said. She did follow him this time, and he locked the door behind her. They left the med bay, heading for the nearest turbo lift. “So, what are you up to tonight?”

“Drinks with Jim,” Bones answered.

The look on her face became disappointed. “Oh. I was going to ask if you wanted to get a drink with me, but…”

Bones smiled. “I would, really, but I already promised him...”

“No, that’s fine,” Jamie said. “I should have realized. And I’m sure it’s a just-the-two-of-you thing, so I won’t ask to tag along.”

Wincing, Bones said, “Yeah, that wouldn’t be a good idea tonight.”

The lift arrived, and they stepped into it. He pushed the button for her deck, and the door slid closed. 

Jamie’s eyebrows knit together. “He doesn’t like me very much, does he?”

For once, Bones hesitated to tell the truth. He mulled over his next words with care to make sure he didn’t cross a line or hurt her feelings. “I think this situation is very strange for him, and he’s not handling it as gracefully as he could.”

Jamie gave him a look. “Which is code for you agreeing that Jim hates me.”

His eyes narrowed a bit, but not out of irritation; they did out of concentration and thought. “Hate is…” Jamie’s expression became more serious. “Yeah. He hates you.”

Jamie nodded, turning her attention back to the lift door. She brushed her hair off her neck as her lips pursed a little. “I guess I understand. I wouldn’t quite say it’s mutual, but he’s been a shithead since I got here.”

“I can’t really argue with that,” Bones admitted. “But you haven’t exactly been Mary Sunshine to him.”

The lift door opened, and Jamie stepped halfway out of it. She turned to Bones with an expression that was equal parts frustration and sadness. “I just don’t deal well with people throwing incredible things away like they’re nothing,” Jamie said, her voice soft and full of affection.

Taken aback, Bones stared at her, pressing the button to keep the door open. He swallowed, not knowing what else to say.

Jamie shrugged one shoulder as a fake smile graced her face. “See you, Bones.” She turned, wrapping the towel around her neck as she walked away. When she was halfway down the corridor, she turned to look at him over her shoulder with another sad smile.

Bones let go of the button, and the door closed. He pushed the button for Jim’s deck and leaned against the back wall. Bones covered his mouth with a hand, trying to figure out how to react or feel. It was…flattering and a bit humbling.

It was also confusing as hell.

For one thing, he couldn’t tell if she meant that because she felt something for him or if it was out of some kind of jealousy that the situation was reversed in this reality. This in turn brought things up about his own feelings he didn’t know how to answer.

Jamie was a very attractive, very fun woman, and she was almost exactly the same as Jim. But was he attracted because of her own desirable qualities or because of the ones she had in common with Jim?

Bones banged the back of his head into the wall. “Jesus fucking Christ, my head hurts,” he said out loud.

The lift stopped, and the door opened. With a loud noise, Bones exited it and walked towards Jim’s quarters. He pushed the entry bell and waited.

Jim’s voice came over the intercom. _Just a second, Bones._

Bones pushed the button on the console. “Sure.”

After a couple of minutes, the door slid open and Bones stepped inside. He paused when he stood before Jim’s couch. 

The lights were dimmed to about fifty percent, and fine-looking brown liquor sat in a crystal decanter Bones had never seen before. Two matching tumblers sat on either side, along with a single rose in a matching crystal vase. 

With his back to him as he went through media files on his entertainment console, stood Jim. He wore a blue short-sleeved shirt that showed off the ample muscles in his arms and a pair of dark wash worn-in jeans that hugged his legs and ass perfectly. Bones’ mouth watered a bit at the sight, his hands clenching at his sides to keep from grabbing Jim and doing something inappropriate, like bending him over and…

Yeah, he needed that Kirk-free shuttle trip.

“Hey Bones,” Jim said. Music filled the quarters, loud enough to set a mood without being obtrusive. It wasn’t the normal music Jim liked, all loud and brash and hard beats. It was more like something Bones would choose, sultry and mellow like a Georgia July.

Jim turned to face him, and Bones saw that the shirt had a deep v-neck, showing off the hard planes of Jim’s collarbone and a bit of dark blond chest hair. He looked amazing, all edible and scrumptious like a nice piece of a rich, perfect tiramisu. More than the physical desire, Bones felt his heart ache with a longing so strong it took his breath away.

Jim smiled, soft and welcoming. Bones' cheeks warmed at the sight, and he licked his lips. “Hey,” he said, his voice coming out more hoarse than he wanted. 

His blue eyes sparkling, Jim gestured for Bones to sit. Bones obliged, and Jim sat next to him at a three-quarter angle. Bones turned in a similar manner as Jim poured them both two fingers in the glasses. 

Jim handed Bones his before taking the second one for himself. He raised his tumbler in a toast. “Cheers,” he said.

“To what?” Bones asked. He moved his glass close to Jim’s.

A pensive look crossed Jim’s features. “To us. To Bones and Jim.”

His mouth and throat going dry, Bones nodded. “To us.” Their glasses clinked together, and they drank, swallowing slow mouthfuls of the liquor. It was a smooth, smoky bourbon the way Bones liked them, and he couldn’t stop a pleased sound from escaping his lips. “Where did you---?”

“I’ve been saving it,” Jim said. “Just for a special occasion.”

Bones raised an eyebrow. “An occasion like…Sunday?”

Shrugging, Jim’s expression shrouded itself in secrecy. “I mean, we’re together. What’s more special than that?”

The pleased flush Bones had deepened. His eyes softened, although he hoped they didn’t betray the strength of his feelings. 

Before he could reply, Jim continued. “We’re best friends and have been since we met. We’re probably the two closest people on the ship. We should…we should honor that more. Right?”

Although the lack of an open declaration of love disappointed Bones, the tone of Jim’s voice was warm, enveloping him like a goosedown comforter. Bones took another sip of the bourbon so Jim couldn’t see the want on his face. “I suppose,” he said after swallowing.

Jim’s eyes glimmered with a faint promise of something more. What that more was, Bones didn’t know, but it made his skin warm and his palms itch.

Jim cleared his throat, looking away from Bones into the distance. He seemed to gather his thoughts for a while, before he said, “I love this.”

“Love what?” Bones asked as he took another drink.

Jim stared down at the amber liquid in his glass, holding it in both his hands. A small smile lit up his face. “Spending time with you. Even when we do nothing, there’s nowhere I’d rather be or no one I’d rather be with.”

Bones looked at Jim with some trepidation. “What brought this on?” he asked, careful to keep the suspicion out of his voice.

Jim shrugged. “The realization that I don’t say this enough. The realization that I like doing stuff with you.” He shrugged a second time as he raised his glass to his lips. “You’re, like, my favorite person to do stuff with.”

Bones watched as Jim threw back the glass, drinking a decent mouthful of the bourbon. He watched as his eyes slid shut, the muscles in his throat worked, and a faint flush filled his cheeks. Following his lead, Bones took a long drink of his own.

When he finished and opened his eyes, Jim looked at him with a shell-shocked expression. 

Bones stared right back for a while before he said, “Something on your mind?”

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed, and his mouth scrunched up. “I…” he began, and Bones noticed his eyes were startled like a deer in headlights. “It’s…”

Bones set his glass down on Jim’s table before turning completely sideways to face him. His hands folded in his lap, and he waited with a patient and understanding look on his face as Jim tried to say what was on his mind. This lasted a few minutes before Jim shook his head with his eyes closed as he rubbed a hand down his face.

His hand falling onto the couch, Jim bit his bottom lip. He shook his head again, only this time he managed to speak. “It’s…you’re…the most important person. In my life,” he finished, and his voice was somewhat disbelieving and stunned.

This, more than anything, made something inside Bones snap and release. He looked into Jim’s eyes, which were conflicted and scared and a host of emotions he’d never seen before, and Bones wiped his hands off on his pants. He took a deep, long breath to gather his courage. 

If there had ever been the right moment, it was then.

Bones opened his mouth to speak when his eyes caught Jim’s again, and they stopped him cold. They had darkened, as if he was in turmoil; the only clear emotion in them was fear.

He knew. Jim knew that Bones was going to tell him how he felt. And he didn’t want him to, hence the fear. He was afraid of having to reject him or let him down easy.

An ice-cold wave of shocking pain flooded Bones’ chest, and he closed his eyes, turning away from Jim. His hand trembling, he grabbed his bourbon and took a drink, killing it. Without looking at Jim again, he said in a quiet, rough-like-sandpaper voice, “You’re the most important person to me, too.” 

Shame filled Bones as he saw Jim open his mouth out of the corner of his eye. Thinking better of it, Jim snapped it shut. His eyes fixated on Bones’ face as he took a sip of his own bourbon. 

The silence was heavy and awkward.

“Do you want more to drink?” Jim asked after a few awkward minutes.

Bones shrugged. “Sure.”

In order to pour them more bourbon, Jim had to lean across Bones to do so. Bones tried to resist inhaling Jim’s scent, but he failed. It was warm and rugged, but also bright and clean, like laundry on one of those old-fashioned drying lines. It made Bones sigh, and he bit his lips to keep from outright frowning.

Jim poured the liquor, and he sat back in his previous position. They looked down in their glasses, at the walls, at the floor, or anywhere not at each other. 

Bones sighed again, wondering why in the last few days all of his interactions with Jim became so fucking _hard_. Jim was the one easy thing in his life, in spite of his unrequited love. They understood each other, knew everything about each other, got when to come towards and when to stay at an arm’s length…but now, they couldn’t even look at each other.

It hurt; it hurt Bones so much he didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. He downed his bourbon in one gulp, his chest tightening as if he couldn’t breathe. Fight or flight took over, and the most prudent option was to flee.

Bones wiped his hands on his pants, hoping it would cover their shaking. Shame, deep and down to the bottom of his soul colored his words as he said, “I think I better call it a night.”

Jim’s eyes dimmed. “But it’s early…”

Bones shook his head, standing to put some distance between them. “No, I just…I’m tired. I’m gonna go before I fall asleep.”

Everything about Jim seemed to sink in disappointment, from his shoulders to the lines of his face. It made him look older than his twenty-eight years and impossibly small, and Bones almost changed his mind at the lost look on his face. “Did I…did I do something?” Jim asked, his words halting.

Bones made himself meet Jim’s eyes. “No, Jim, it’s nothing you did.” Yes it was, but whatever. “I am feeling really beat all, so it’s probably best I call it a night.”

Jim didn’t look convinced, and for a minute, Bones thought he would argue. He tensed like a cat that was about to pounce, but as quickly as it came, he sank like all the fight drained out of him. His eyes darkened to the point Bones would have thought someone died.

“Sure, Bones,” Jim said. “I…have a good night. I guess.”

Nodding because he didn’t trust his voice, Bones walked to the door.

“Hey, Bones?” Jim called.

Bones turned; Jim’s face was the picture of earnestness and fear.

“Breakfast tomorrow?” Jim asked. His voice was timid enough to shake a little.

The corners of Bones’ mouth lifted the slightest bit. “Sure.”

A bit of hope and happiness made a welcome reappearance on Jim’s face. “Good. That’s…great. See you in the morning.”

Bones swallowed around a thick lump in his throat. “See you.”

He left, pausing to lean against the wall next to Jim’s door. 

Bones was going to go back to his quarters, get hammered, and try to forget the whole thing ever happened. 

At least, until he had to pretend to be fine in the morning.

\-----

Bones didn’t go straight back to his quarters; he took a long walk around the deck, sometimes finding himself back at Jim’s door. Each time that happened, he contemplated entering the rooms to tell Jim the entire truth.

And each time, he backed down as fear’s cold grip ensnared him.

His shoulders dipped low, Bones sighed and walked, proverbial tail between his legs back to his quarters after the fourth time. He unlocked his door, but when he entered he saw the lights were on and heard music playing, though this time it was the hard, thrashing music Jim preferred. His quarters also weren't empty.

Jamie sat on his couch.

Well, she hadn’t sat so much as sprawled. She lay stretched from top to bottom like a cat, one foot pressed against the inside of her other calf. Instead of her command dress or the workout clothes from earlier, she wore a white wide-necked oversized t-shirt that the collar had slid to the side, exposing the black strap of her bra. She also wore a pair of gray shorts that may as well have been underwear for how long they were. Her foot flexed for a second against her leg, and Bones realized her toenails had been lacquered a pristine cherry red.

“You don’t wear make-up or do anything with your hair, but you get pedicures,” Bones said instead of a hello.

Jamie leaned her head back as far as it would go with a grin. “We all have our indulgences, Bones. Mani-pedis are mine. Nyota introduced me to them back at the Academy, and my life hasn’t been the same since.”

“Fair enough,” Bones said, thinking about his propensity for haircuts every three weeks and not a moment later.

Jamie rolled onto her stomach, her feet kicked up in the air. She studied him with a mixture of curiosity and sympathy on her face. Pushing herself up, she moved into a sitting position with her legs tucked up underneath her. “Come. Sit.”

Pausing to pull the blue tunic over his head, Bones dropped it to the ground and did as instructed. He sat close to her with a frown as the way he left Jim hit him all over again.

Jamie blinked a few times in stunned silence. “Wow. What happened?”

Bones didn’t answer with anything more than a shake of his head. Something occurred to him then, and he gave her a look. “How did you even get in here?”

“It’s me, Bones,” she said with a shrug.

Bones nodded before resuming staring at the far wall. A delicate hand reached out, caressing his thigh to lend support. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jamie watch him with concern. “That fucker broke your heart,” she said, her voice rough and edged with menace.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Bones whispered, hoping she’d catch the desperation in his voice.

In typical Kirk fashion, she did not. “I should go there right now and----“

“No,” Bones said, turning to face her. He placed his hands over hers and looked her in the eye. “Don’t. I brought it on myself, all right?”

“How? By loving him?” Jamie said, seething. Her eyes were ablaze with anger, and her shoulders were stiff. She looked like she was going to punch someone in the face until they went down, then she’d proceed to punch them more. 

In spite of his desolation, Bones’ heart warmed to see her so protective. It was flattering and nice to see that in her.

Even though he’d never see it in Jim.

His heart clenched with pain as his eyes drifted to their hands. Bones then looked up at her face; she was still angry, but this time he noticed the concern and affection mixed with the rage. 

Jamie didn’t shy away from his stare. “I told you earlier,” she said. “I get insanely pissed when I see people who could have everything throw it away like fucking nothing. That goes for career things, family, but especially…well. We both know I’m not a neutral party here.”

Again Bones chose not to speak. He swallowed as he ran his thumb over the backs of her knuckles.

Jamie huffed with frustration. “Admittedly, part of me is pissed out of jealousy. I would give just about anything for my Bones to look at me the way you do him even once.”

“He’s a blind idiot,” Bones said before he could stop the words. His voice was barely audible above the music, paper-thin and cracked like ancient parchment.

Jamie gave him a look. “What?”

Bones cleared his throat. “Your Bones,” he clarified, this time speaking enough to be heard above the music. “He’s a blind idiot if he can’t see you for the beautiful and vivacious woman you are.”

The anger and resentment left Jamie’s body in one fell swoop, her eyes holding nothing but deep affection and pleasure. She licked her lips, Bones’ eyes following the movement of her tongue. “Then, by that rationale, so is Jim.”

It stung, but she was right. 

“I reckon so,” Bones said.

Jamie shifted closer, her bare skin brushing against his clothed thigh. At this distance, Bones could smell her, and predictably, she smelled a lot like Jim. Unlike Jim’s slight muskiness, there was a softness and delicacy to Jamie’s aroma, like juniper in summer. It was as pleasant as Jim’s but in a different, more feminine way.

Her ponytail fell over her shoulder, and before he could stop himself, Bones reached up, undoing the tie and pulling it free. Jamie’s hair was thick and straight, very long, and it filled the space between them like a curtain. He ran his hand through it, noting how soft and silken the gold strands felt between his fingers. 

Jamie flushed a rosy pink down her cheeks and throat, and Bones wondered if the rest of her followed suit. His eyes again focused on her lips, and he shifted closer to her as a result.

Jim didn’t want him, was afraid of him telling the truth…but Jamie was there and real, and the attraction was unmistakable and undeniable. 

“Does he see this?” Bones asked, his voice drawling and thick. “Your hair, I mean. Does he see you like this?”

Jamie shook her head. “No. No one does.”

Bones nodded. His hand left her hair to stroke her cheek, and Jamie leaned into it with a smile filled with desire. As he debated kissing her, she took the decision out of his hands, sliding her mouth against his with precision and not a little power. Without any further hesitation, Bones parted his lips, inviting her to deepen it. 

She did, the kiss becoming more passionate, and he wrapped a hand around her waist, almost but not quite pulling her onto his lap. Jamie moaned, a throaty sound that sent shivers down Bones’ spine. His hand slid from her cheek to cup one of her breasts, kneading it through her shirt and bra. 

Bones pulled away from the kiss to pant. Jamie’s hand, which still rested on his thigh, moved further inward; it was millimeters away from his cock, and he considered picking it up and putting it on the goal. 

Before he could speak, Jamie chuckled. “Take me to bed, Bones, and I promise I’ll put a smile on your face.”

Bones knew he wanted her since he set eyes on her. More to the point, she wanted him. And oh, it was so lovely to be wanted by a Kirk at last. “I’m gonna hold you to that, darlin’.”

Jamie’s eyes glittered, her pupils blowing at the word _darlin’ _. She shifted, making a little noise before standing and pulling him with her. They walked hand-in-hand to his bedroom, and Bones called out to dim the lights.__

__They stood next to his bed, and Bones lifted the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and off her. She returned the favor, throwing his across the room. Then Bones pulled down the waistband of her shorts, gravity doing the rest as they pooled at her feet. Undoing the fastenings on his pants, Jamie dropped them to the floor. She knelt to undo the buckles and straps on his boots, pulling them off and throwing them over her shoulder._ _

__Bones watched her as she pulled off his socks before freeing his legs of the pants. Her hands traveled up his calves and thighs to the silk of his boxers, rubbing him through the fabric. Bones took a closer look at her; her bra was black lace, and he could see the dusky skin of her nipples through it. Her panties were made of the same lace, although at the angle she knelt in front of him, he couldn’t tell much about them other than that._ _

__Bones grabbed her shoulders and tugged, pulling her into a standing position. Jamie stood on her toes to kiss him quickly before turning around. She lifted her hair, pulling it over her shoulder, and Bones took the hint, undoing the clasp on her bra._ _

__That was when he noticed her underwear was a thong._ _

__“Christ,” he said. His right hand lay on her back as her bra opened, but his left caressed her ass cheek, feeling the firm, smooth skin. Jamie gasped, her back arching as he slid his hand from her ass to in between her legs, rubbing her through the lace. The fabric was damp, and Jamie whimpered, spreading her legs and pushing back into his fingers._ _

__It was a simple matter to push the lace aside and dip two of his fingers into her wet heat. Jamie leaned back into him with a groan that ended on a sigh, wrapping one arm around his neck to keep steady._ _

__Bones bent down, pressing bites and kisses to the back of her neck as he curled his fingers inside her and twisted them. His free hand slid her bra down as best he could, and she dropped her arms to let it fall onto the floor. His fingers pressed against a soft spot within her, causing her legs to tremble. Bones repeated the motions, setting a fast rhythm as he fucked her with his hand. Jamie keened, her hips rocking against him as he worked._ _

__His other hand went to her left breast and rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Jamie leaned her head back on his shoulder with a whimper. “Harder, Bones, fuck,” Jamie begged._ _

__Bones didn’t answer, instead opting to give her all she asked for. Her thighs shook on either side of his hand, and the whining increased in volume and intensity until she stiffened with a scream, her knees buckling a bit as her walls clenched around his fingers. Bones held her to him, supporting her weight so she didn’t fall as she shuddered and mewled through the aftershocks._ _

__His fingers sliding out of her, Bones pulled the lace thong down, and she kicked it the rest of the way off. Jamie then turned to face him, her eyes glimmering in the dim light. She took the hand Bones had used, raised it up to her mouth, and sucked his fingers clean._ _

__“Fuck,” Bones said under his breath. Her eyes didn’t leave his as her tongue removed all traces of her release._ _

__Once she was satisfied, Jamie pulled them free with a pop. Letting go of his hand, she grabbed the waistband of his boxers, dragging them down his legs until he could step out of them. Her eyes focused on his cock with appreciation; it was fully erect against his stomach with pearls of precome on the tip. “Well done, Bones,” she said with an impish grin._ _

__Bones rolling his eyes was undermined by the smirk on his face. “Shut it.”_ _

__Jamie went to say something, but before she could, he picked her up and threw her on her back on the bed. She took the hint, shutting her mouth with a smug smile as she spread her legs, wide and wanton. Bones groaned a bit at the sight, his cock throbbing, as he climbed on the mattress on top of her. In one smooth movement, he slid into her with a groan._ _

__“ _Oh_ ,” Jamie said, closing her eyes and turning her face to the side. _ _

__Bones buried his face in her neck as he thrust back out, then in. She was wet and tight, but not too much so, and he fucked her hard and fast, meeting her whimpers with his groans. Jamie arched her back and wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling him in deeper. Her left hand went to her clit, two of her fingers stroking it in time with his thrusts._ _

__Jamie panted, whined under him. “Yeah, Bones,” she said. “Just like that. Fuck me just like that.”_ _

__Bones’ back tensed when she used his name. He relaxed just as quickly, and Jamie clung to his shoulder with her hand, digging into him hard enough to bruise. Bones’ eyes squeezed shut, a growl escaping his lips; in his mind’s eye, her body was broader, more angular and solid. Her voice was deeper but as husky._ _

__“Shit,” Bones said, trying to clear his head. He buried his face in her hair and concentrated on her scent. He focused on how she felt, around and underneath him, instead of chasing a specter of what would never be his._ _

__Jamie made a noise as she shook below him, having come a second time. He could feel her fingers continue to work against her clit, could feel her chest heave under his._ _

__Bones growled again, his own orgasm almost within reach. He felt it build in his stomach, a coil of light and heat pooling iand awaiting the right moment for arrive. Jamie wailed below him, coming apart for the third time, and it was enough, the fluttering of her muscles around his cock pulling him over the edge with her. Bones shouted as he went still, spilling inside her, a complete and forceful release._ _

__But not a fulfilling one._ _

__Having collapsed against her, Bones pushed himself up. He was careful not to meet her eyes as he slid out and rolled onto his back next to her. With almost no emotion on his face, he stared up at the ceiling._ _

__Next to him, Jamie stretched and sighed. “Mmmmm,” she said. “That was awesome.”_ _

__Bones didn’t reply._ _

__“I mean, I’ve heard talk about…well I guess not _your_ fingers, but my Bones’ from other people,” Jamie continued. “It’s nice to finally experience it for myself. And the talk isn’t exactly fake gossip and lies.” She turned on her side to face him, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw she had a smile on her face._ _

__That is, until she took in the expression on his. Then the grin faded, as if someone erased it like an error on a chalkboard._ _

__“Bones?”_ _

__“I’m a fucking coward,” is what came out of Bones’ mouth._ _

__Jamie stared at him in silence. “Why do you say that?”_ _

__“I had the perfect moment to tell him,” Bones said, the bitterness in his own voice surprising both of them. “Everything about it was right. Did I? No. I backed down, and then I made up an excuse to leave. Eventually I came back here, and then what did I do? I took you to bed. I’m too chickenshit to say three words to Jim…for fuck’s sake, it’s not even ten letters! But give me his female counterpart who happens to be in love with my counterpart from their reality, and within forty-eight hours I’ll have fucked her.”_ _

__Again, Jamie was quiet._ _

__“There is no other word for what I am except a coward,” Bones finished._ _

__“I guess that makes two of us,” Jamie said. Bones finally looked at her, and her expression was brutal in its sadness. “If I were in your shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing. And…the fact that I love my Bones…well…” Her cheeks flushed. “I’d be lying if I said he didn’t cross my mind a few times just now. Or…the whole time.”_ _

__Under normal circumstances, that would have been insulting, but Bones found he didn’t mind. For one thing, they were technically the same man. And for another…Jim. “I know. Jim kind of…well. Me too is all I’ll say.”_ _

__Jamie nodded with sympathy and understanding on her face._ _

__Bones sighed. “I’m sorry. I thought when we started this, sleeping with you would make me feel better or take my mind off things or…anything but this. Instead, I feel…”_ _

__“Hollow,” Jamie finished with eyes dull from heartbreak._ _

__“Yeah,” Bones said with regret. “I’m sorry, Jamie. If Jim wasn’t in the picture, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to be with you.”_ _

__A semblance of a smile formed on Jamie’s lips. “If my Bones wasn’t a factor, you wouldn’t be able to run.”_ _

__Unable to fight it, Bones gave a smile of his own. “Don’t flatter yourself, princess. I’m a tough nut to crack.”_ _

__Jamie smiled, a wicked one that told Bones he stepped into a trap. “I could make so many comments about you, your nuts, and cracking them, especially in light of what we just did, but I think I’ll take the high road.”_ _

__“I’m pretty sure that’s impossible for you,” Bones remarked. “Taking the high road. It’s not in the Kirk family dictionary. In fact, I didn’t think you realized you could even put those two words together like that.”_ _

__Jamie snorted, shoving him in the chest. Bones grabbed her hand, dropping both hers and his together to the bed. “You fucking prick,” she said with a laugh._ _

__“Yup,” Bones said with a shrug and a smirk. He chuckled a few times, and when he stopped, they smiled at each other._ _

__“We’re okay, Bones,” Jamie said. “And we’ll _be_ okay. Things will work out.”_ _

__His smile softened. “Yeah, they will.”_ _

__Jamie closed her eyes and stretched, prompting Bones to yawn so hard his jaw cracked. She rolled back on to her other side, curling up into a cat-like ball. Bones slid up behind her, instincts taking over as he spooned her, one arm wrapped around her chest. Jamie stiffened before relaxing, and she pressed back into him._ _

__“I should probably go,” Jamie said._ _

__Bones shrugged. “You don’t have to.”_ _

__“I don’t normally stay overnight,” Jamie continued._ _

__Which...neither did Jim, or so Bones knew from conversations about his romantic entanglements. “It’s up to you. I’m just saying that I’m not kicking you out.”_ _

__Her hand covered his on her chest, her delicate fingers sliding in between his thicker ones. She squeezed them once, and he took that to mean she’d stay. He let go of her to pull the comforter up and called out to turn off the lights._ _

__Bones wrapped her in his arms again, burying his face in her hair. He drifted off to sleep within minutes._ _

__Jim filled his dreams._ _


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's not good, things are complicated. Can they get even moreso?
> 
> Yup.
> 
> They sure can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhhhhhh I forgot in my first chapter's author's notes...
> 
> The title is taken from Pablo Neruda.

When Bones awoke to his alarm the following morning, he realized he was alone. He sat up while running a hand through his hair, when he noticed a PADD on his bedside table that had been left on. 

Bones picked it up and read the screen; it was a note from Jamie.

_Bones---_

_I thought it better that we not wake up together so things didn’t get confused again. Last night was lovely, and I don’t want you to think otherwise. Thank you for everything, and I’ll see you at some point today._

_Jamie_

_PS – I wasn’t kidding when I complimented your hands. They’re practically legendary._

The typical surge of male pride filled Bones for a second before he saved the note. He then got out of bed, heading to the bathroom to shower and get ready. It was the start of his “weekend,” so he had the next two days off, and he took his time bathing.

He had just finished shaving when he heard his communicator beep in his bedroom. Bones dashed out of his lavatory with a towel wrapped around his waist as he grabbed it. “McCoy here.”

_Hey Bones,_ Jim said. _Just wanted to make sure we were still on for breakfast._

“Of course,” Bones said with a slight smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Jim cleared his throat, and when he spoke, there was a warmth in his voice that went straight to Bones’ heart. _Me too, Bones. I can’t wait._

“Yeah,” Bones said. He grabbed a pair of boxers and jeans from his chest of drawers. “I need to finish getting dressed. I’ll see you in about fifteen, all right?”

_Sounds good! See you in fifteen!_ Jim disconnected the call, and Bones closed his communicator, placing it on top of his dresser as he stepped into his burgundy silk boxers. The jeans followed, and then he grabbed a pair of black socks. He then pulled on a white sleeveless undershirt and black sweater, sliding his feet into black boots. 

Pocketing his communicator, Bones paused in his bathroom to make sure his hair was neat before leaving. It was a short trip from his quarters to the officer’s mess, and when he arrived, Jim stood next to the door in an indigo button-up shirt and jeans. Bones felt his mouth go dry as he said, “Howdy.”

Jim’s eyes landed on his face, and Bones could have sworn they lit up and glittered. “Hey, Bones,” Jim said. He reached out, putting his hand on Bones’ shoulder and squeezing it. 

Bones still didn’t quite understand the sudden change in Jim’s attitude towards touching him, but he wasn’t above relishing it. “Hey. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

“Sure,” Jim said as they entered the officer’s mess. It was late enough they missed most of the rush, so it was mostly empty. Bones grabbed a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich and coffee as Jim grabbed cereal with fruit and his own cup of Joe. They sat at a four-person table together and dug in.

After a few minutes, Bones pointed to Jim’s choice of meal. “You did it again.”

“Did what?” Jim asked after swallowing.

“You’re eating something not awful,” Bones said. “Have all my lectures somehow actually gotten through to you?”

Jim blushed. “I’m allowed to try new things, aren’t I?”

Bones shrugged as he looked down at his sandwich. “Of course you are, Jim.”

They sat in silence for a time, although neither of them ate. Jim looked at Bones with his eyes bright and hopeful. “That’s not the only thing I’m interested in trying.”

Looking up from his mug, Bones raised one of his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? What else has caught your fancy?”

Jim opened his mouth to answer, but before he could a voice said, “Mind if I join you both?”

Bones and Jim looked up; it was Jamie.

Jim’s expression became stony and cross; almost all of the sparkle left his eyes, and his mouth became a twisted line. “Actually, we…”

“Sure,” Bones said at the same time. The look on Jim’s face made him realize his mistake, and he cringed. “Er…”

Jim’s expression smoothed out, and he leaned back with a sigh. “No. Forget it. It’s fine.”

Feeling like a fuck-up, Bones frowned.

Jamie rolled her eyes. “ _She_ says thank you for being so _magnanimous_ ,” she quipped as she set her tray next to Bones. She gave him a little smile as she took a bite of her own sandwich. She had tea instead of coffee, though, and she took a moment to pour a packet of honey into it. 

Bones looked at Jim with what he hoped were sincere apologies in his eyes. Jim didn’t seem to notice, though; he was too busy prodding his cereal with his spoon. Bones sighed and went back to eating with that same wondering about why things were so difficult he did the night before.

Jamie swallowed a mouthful of sausage and cheese as she looked back and forth between them. “Wow,” she said. “The vibe between the two of you is _awkward_.”

Jim dropped his spoon on his tray, his eyes narrowing into a steely glare. “Everything was fine until you showed up, but that’s just par for the course, isn’t it?”

Jamie scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jim crossed his arms. “You show up on my ship, and you immediately glom onto _my_ Bones like he’s yours or some shit. You have one of your own. Worry about yours, while I do mine.”

Bones, who flushed when Jim referred to him as _his_ , cleared his throat. “Being as I’m not an inanimate object…say, for example, a tv remote control during a time when you both want to watch two different shows, I can speak for myself.”

“Stay out of this, Bones,” Jim said without looking at him. “We’re cool. It’s her I take issue with.”

Bones growled; he wasn’t some kind of prize, for fuck’s sake.

Before he could say so, Jamie cracked her knuckles. “Bones,” she said, emphasizing the word to the point where Jim’s expression became a glower, his cheeks darkening in anger. “Can pick his own friends. He’s an adult, you see, unlike _some_ assholes at this table. _Capisce_?”

“I’m not being childish,” Jim spat. “I’m stating facts. You showed up and took no time at all to try to take what doesn’t belong to you. I’m telling you I’ve had enough. Back off, already!”

Jamie clenched her hands so hard her knuckles turned alabaster. “You’ve got some nerve acting like you have some sort of proprietary claim on a fucking human being, you dickwad.”

Bones sighed, putting his head in his hands. They were causing a scene; he could feel the other officers in the mess stare at them. “Enough. Both of you.”

“Not by half,” Jamie said. 

“Not even close,” Jim added. “Look, I’m only going to say this once. Back off him. Leave him alone. Or…”

“Or what?” Jamie said in a tone that dripped venom. “You’ll airlock me? You’ll tell Scotty not to send me home?”

“Don’t push it, Kirk,” Jim said. “You won’t like the consequences.”

“Enough!” Bones said as he raised his head. “I mean, I realize what my nickname is, but the both of you are acting like two wolves savaging each other over a carcass. Grow the fuck up, both of you, and shut up. Now.”

Jamie didn’t argue. She sucked on her bottom lip, turning her eyes back down to the surface of the table. She picked at the English muffin on her breakfast.

Jim’s eyes filled with not a little shame. “Sorry, Bones,” he said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to treat you so badly.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Then stop doing it.”

Now it was Jim’s turn to be silent as he considered Bones’ words. 

Jamie shrugged. “You make no fucking sense, you know that?” she said to Jim.

“Excuse me?” Jim asked, his hackles rising instantly.

Bones grabbed her arm. “Enough.”

Jamie turned to him with an angry expression. “No, he doesn’t get to piss around you like you’re his territory when he---“

“I said _enough_ ,” Bones said, putting enough emphasis on his words to get his point (and irritation) across. Jamie clamped her mouth shut.

“No, let her say it,” Jim said in a cold voice. “She obviously needs to get this out. So let her say it.”

Jerking her arm out of Bones’ grasp, Jamie turned a fiery gaze onto Jim. “Fine. After how you acted last night, you’ve got some nerve getting angry at the fact that I sat at the same table as you two.”

Jim frowned. “Last night? What do…?” He froze before focusing on Bones. “You told her about last night? What the fuck, Bones? And when?”

The anger fled from Jamie’s body, and Bones shifted in his seat. “Last…night.”

Jim went pale and swallowed. “When?”

The look on Jim’s face made Bones consider that he may have committed a type of betrayal by sleeping with Jamie. He didn’t really understand why he felt that way, but there was something about the look in Jim’s eyes he thought he recalled seeing in his own after Jocelyn told him about Clay. And the truth of the matter was, he could never lie to Jim. “After I left you.”

Jim barked out a humorless laugh. “So that’s why you left so early.”

“No, that...” Bones said. “That wasn’t why. I didn’t ditch you for her, Jim, I swear.”

Jim grimaced, looking Bones right in the eye as he spoke. “Sure you didn’t, Bones. Whatever. You just sat around and talked or some shit, right?”

Bones couldn’t have stopped the guilt from showing on his face or the blush from staining his skin if he had wanted to, and from the way Jamie made a point to look away with her own cheeks bright red, he suspected she felt the same.

Jim stared at Bones for a second before looking at Jamie. Then he looked back at Bones. All of the color drained out of his face, his mouth forming a little “O” of realization, and his eyes clouded up in pain. “You…” Jim said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Not trusting himself to speak, Bones didn’t sever their eye contact as he nodded.

Everything about Jim seemed to shatter in that instant and he looked very small and sad. His face became a combination of nausea, heartbreak, and anger, and Bones went into a state of panic because he had never seen his friend look so devastated in his life.

“Excuse me,” Jim said as he stood so fast he almost fell over. “I need to go.”

As he turned and sped out of the mess, Bones got out of his own seat so hard his chair toppled to the ground. “Jim! Jim wait!”

Jim ignored him, walking so fast he not-quite ran as he shoved through the door, Bones catching up as best he could. Once he was in the hall, Bones switched to running, and he reached Jim within seconds. Bones grabbed him by the biceps, his thumb pressing into a pressure point to stop him.

“Jim!”

Jim wouldn’t look at him. “Let go of me,” he said in a flat voice that terrified Bones. It was too defeated and broken; he’d never heard Jim even approach anything like it, let alone actually arrive at that destination.

“Jim, hang on a sec, let’s go somewhere quiet just us and talk,” Bones said, aware that his voice had pitched high with desperation. What had he done? 

“I don’t think you can say anything I want to hear right now,” Jim said. “Let me go, Bones.”

“Jim, I…” Bones said. “I can’t. I really don’t understand what’s happening, and I need to. Why are you so upset that I slept with her? It’s not like we’re anything except friends.”

Jim finally turned to look at Bones then, and his eyes were dark, desolate, and the walking picture of someone whose heart had broken beyond repair. In that moment, Bones understood the reason for the awkwardness and the weird silences and the fear on Jim’s face.

He also realized he had never made a bigger mistake in his entire life.

“Jim…” Bones said.

Taking a deep breath, Jim closed his eyes and looked away. “Let me go, Bones.”

Bones shook his head, tightening his grip out of reflex. “Wait, Jim, there’s something I need to----“

“Let me go,” Jim said again. His voice scratched at Bones’ essence like sandpaper.

“Jim, please, let me just---“ Bones begged.

“Lieutenant-Commander McCoy, I order you to let me go,” Jim said, somehow as powerful and commanding as he was filled with pain.

Bones’ own heart shattered like glass, and he pulled his hand off Jim’s arm. He sighed as he said, “Aye, Captain.”

Taking several steps back, Bones watched as Jim bolted down the hall, getting into the turbolift. The doors closed behind him, and Bones felt like his world ripped away. His posture weakened, and he was sure the expression on his face could only be described as devastated. 

Nothing in his life, not even his father’s death or his divorce, had ever made him feel like such a failure. Or so completely cold and alone.

He stood, rooted to his spot for…he didn’t know how long until someone cleared her throat behind him. “Bones?” Jamie said. “Are you okay?”

Bones’ eyes bore into the floor. “No.”

Jamie didn’t reply right away. “Do you want to talk?”

“No,” Bones repeated. 

“Okay,” Jamie said. “I think maybe you should…”

“Jamie?” Bones said without looking at her.

There was a pause. “Yes?”

“I want to be left alone,” Bones said. 

Jamie sighed. “Bones, I…”

Bones shook his head. “Not right now. I need…I need to be alone.”

There was another pause. When Jamie spoke, her voice was hesitant and soft. “Okay, Bones. I’ll see you some other time.”

He heard her walk down the hall away from him, and Bones took a deep breath before walking to the turbolift Jim used. He somehow managed to push the button for his deck, and as the door closed, he ran a hand down his face.

The only thing he could do was say, “God damn it.”

\------

After his numb trek back to his quarters, Bones poured himself an almost-overflowing tumbler of bourbon, sitting on his couch and staring into it. The lights were dim, only at about forty percent, and Bones did little more than stare down into the amber liquid as he contemplated the events of the last twenty-four hours.

During this time, Bones came to several conclusions.

The first one, and also the one he kept going back to, was that he had to be the biggest idiot in the galaxy. How could he have been so stupid? He had been stupid to sleep with Jamie when he knew he was settling. He was stupid for not catching on that Jim’s feelings had changed. He was so insanely, utterly _stupid_ about everything that happened over the past few days. 

The second was that he needed to figure out a plan. He needed to find a way to make Jim see that he never intended to hurt him, and he needed to figure out a way to get Jim to see his feelings without skepticism. The former was easy; with enough groveling and cajoling, Jim would come around and accept his apology in time. But the latter…

How could he do the latter? With a romantic dinner? With a heartfelt speech? With flowers, presents, chocolates, all the things that worked on Jocelyn?

No…Jim was different. The presents might not be a bad idea, but the rest of it, the over blown and typical gestures…flowers and chocolates were generic. 

Jim wasn’t generic. 

Bones shrugged his shoulders, rolling them as he hadn’t moved in hours. The dinner idea had merit if he had Jim’s favorite foods and whiskey. Meatloaf with shrimp scampi on the side disturbed Bones a bit, but for Jim…for Jim, he’d eat anything. Go anywhere. He’d even beg if he had to.

Maybe begging was all he needed. Just plaintive, gentle, true words filled with love and apology.

Before he could contemplate that further, his door chime sounded. Assuming it was Jamie, Bones set the glass on the table and got up, opening the door with a frown. “I thought I made it clear that I want---“ His voice trailed off as he stared wide-eyed at the man in front of him.

Jim’s eyes were guarded, cautious, and nervous. “Can I come in?”

Relief flooded Bones’ body; if Jim came to him of his own volition, that meant they could fix this. “Of course you can, Jim.” He gestured to his quarters, and Jim walked past him, leaning against a wall. Bones gave him an awkward smile before sitting back down on his sofa. 

Before Bones could speak, Jim did. “I have something I need to say, and if you don’t mind, let me get through it before you respond.”

Bones nodded. “That’s fair.”

“Okay,” Jim said. He inhaled twice, and then he began. “Okay. I don’t…I don’t want you to be with her.”

It took Bones a second to realize whom Jim meant. He opened his mouth, but Jim held up a hand to silence him. 

“I don’t…I don’t want you to be with her, or love her, or leave with her when she goes back to her _Enterprise_. Okay? I don’t want those things.”

Bones balked. Did Jim really think he would do that? He thought Bones would leave him?

“I don’t want those things because…because you’re _my_ Bones,” Jim said. “And I don’t mean that in a caveman way or something shitty like that. What I mean is…” He bit his bottom lip, his eyes filling with fear and something bright and shining that made Bones’ breath catch in his throat. “I’m in love with you, okay? I’m in love with you, I’ll always be in love with you, and I…it’s not fair for you to not at least give me a chance.”

Bones shook his head. “Jim, I---“

“You agreed not to interrupt,” Jim said, his voice a bit desperate. “Please.”

“But…” Bones took one look at the light in Jim’s eyes and backed down. “Continue.”

“Thanks,” Jim said. “Look, Bones, I mean…I get it. We’ve known each other for years and have never considered crossing that line. I know whenever dating on the ship got brought up, it never occurred to me to think of you in that way. And I realize it’s somewhat shitty and borderline fucked up that it took you falling for me from an alternate timeline where I’m a woman for me to really see you, but well…it is what it is.” 

Jim crossed the room, kneeling in front of Bones. His eyes were full of love and hope.

“I’m asking you to give me a chance the way you’ve given her one. Just one chance for me to prove to you that I can make you happy. And I know I can, Bones, probably better than anyone else you’ve ever known.”

It was everything he ever wanted, right there before him. Bones couldn’t speak; he had lost the capacity to do anything except stare in Jim’s eyes with shock and awe. 

“Just a month. Or even a week…” Jim continued. “I can show you in a week. I can _prove it_ , Bones, that we’d be good together, and that I can make you the happiest man alive. Everything you want, I’ll find a way to get.” Jim rested his hands tentatively on Bones’ thighs, bowing his head. “Just please…let me have a chance like she did.”

Bones swallowed, managing to pull himself together. He tried to speak and failed a few times before he choked out, “You don’t need one.”

Jim’s shoulders stiffened. His hands balled into fists on Bones’ legs. “You…” he began, and his voice sounded gutted and empty. “You love her that much? You can’t even…you won’t…”

Bones gaped for a second before he slid off the couch to sit in front of Jim. He lifted Jim’s face to they could look each other in the eyes again, as he wanted there to be no doubts about what he meant. “You don’t need a chance because I already know it’s _you_ I want, Jim. Have for a long, long time.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “What? But…you…you slept with her…”

“I have to be in love with someone to sleep with them now?” Bones said with gentle affection.

Blinking a few times, Jim shook his head. “No, that’s…I mean…it’s _her_. The way you look at her or talk to her sometimes, it…”

“I talk to her and look at her the way I do with _you_ ,” Bones finished. He let go of Jim’s chin to stroke his hair, and it was soft between his fingers like velvet. “Jamie is beautiful, and I like being around her, but it isn’t love. It isn’t even close, not even in the same quadrant as what I feel for you.”

Jim’s eyes opened up, happiness and love shining through them like a lighthouse beacon. He looked thrilled; he looked like he got everything he ever wanted, like the day the admiralty gave him permanent command of the _Enterprise_. 

It was like bathing in joy.

“I’m sorry, Jim,” Bones said. “I am so sorry that I hurt you. I never in a thousand years thought my sleeping with her would, and if I had known otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened.” He paused for a moment trying to determine the best way to explain further. “I can’t say I regret it, but I knew when we were done that it wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made. It was settling, Jim; I was settling for her. And I can’t do that, not with you.”

Bones smiled as he stroked Jim’s hair. Jim’s hands settled on his shoulders, and Bones shifted closer to him, enough that he could feel the warmth of his skin.

“In fact, in some ways it was a good decision,” Bones continued. “Because it made me realize that my attraction to her is not that different from any other woman. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s only because of you; that’s not fair to Jamie, but it brought things into focus. I can’t love anyone but---mmmph!”

Jim kissed him, kissed him so hard he went breathless. Bones closed his eyes, pulling him even closer as they kissed for what felt like forever, his mouth opening up to Jim and letting him inside. The kiss was power, passion, and adoration in equal measure, and Bones could have done nothing else for the rest of his existence but live in that kiss.

As all things do, it came to an end, and Bones pulled back from Jim enough to say, “I wasn’t finished.”

“Talking about our feelings is _exhausting_ ,” Jim said with a sigh. “It’s settled. I love you; you love me. Hooray. Happiness. Best Christmas ever.”

“It’s March,” Bones said with a chuckle as he rested his forehead against Jim’s.

“Best Easter, Passover, Equinox ever then,” Jim said. “Less talking and Hallmark shit. More tongue.”

“You’re such an impatient little prick,” Bones said. However, he didn’t move or dodge it when Jim kissed him a second time. They kissed for ages again, though they still had to feel some things out. Every now and then, their noses would bump, causing Jim to smile against Bones’ mouth. 

They did this for a long time, so long Bones lost track, before Jim broke a kiss to bury his face in Bones’ neck. Bones wrapped Jim in his arms, breathing in the scent of his skin. The purple shirt was high-quality, soft fabric, and Bones could feel the muscles of Jim’s back beneath it.

“I’m sorry I was such a colossal dick,” Jim mumbled.

“Hm?” Bones asked. His eyes drifted shut.

“The past few days,” Jim said. “And especially at breakfast earlier. I’m sorry I was so shitty. I didn’t mean to treat you like a piece of meat or something.”

Bones clucked his tongue. “Appreciated and accepted, although…I’m not the only one you need to say this to.”

Jim nodded into his neck. “I know. I’ve been unfair to her. I promise I’ll make amends.”

“Good,” Bones said. 

Jim’s silence had a different quality to it for a minute before he started speaking again. “That’s never happened to me before. Getting jealous, ridiculous horrible monster jealous I mean.”

“Yeah that was new,” Bones said. He nuzzled Jim’s ear, making a soft sound into it. 

“The minute she called you ‘Bones’, I…” Jim clutched him tighter. “That’s…I’m…”

“You know,” Bones said, trying to spare Jim the embarrassment. “I’ve been Bones in my own head since our second year at the Academy.”

Jim pulled back to face him. His eyes sparkled, and a smile was on his face. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Bones said. “And I understand why it bothered you. I let it go because Jamie is basically you, but if anyone else called me Bones I’d explain that you only have that privilege.”

Jim looked very pleased to hear it; he was a bright grin and sparkling eyes. “Good. Because if you didn’t, I’d probably end up punching them. Assuming I was within earshot.”

“Always so violent,” Bones said, though his voice was filled with affection.

“Mmmhmmm,” Jim said. He yawned and stretched, standing and pulling Bones with him. He turned and walked them back to Bones’ bed, and Bones gave him a curious look.

Before he could inquire, Jim grabbed the hem of his sweater, lifting it. Bones raised his arms, allowing Jim remove the garment. From there, it was a simple matter for Jim to undo the fly of Bones' jeans and push them down from his hips to his knees. Then Jim repeated the motions on himself, undoing his buttons to reveal a gray t-shirt, and shucking out of the jeans to stand in a pair of black briefs. Bones went to pull his undershirt off when Jim grabbed his hands.

“Not right now,” Jim said with a shy smile. 

Bones raised an eyebrow. “Kind of hard to have sex with our clothes on. Unless you’re into dry humping like a fourteen year old, in which case you and I need to have a long talk.”

Jim snorted. “No. We’ll have sex later; for now, I just want to lay down.” Jim pulled them over to the bed, and he arranged them so they faced each other in the middle. Jim wrapped his arms around Bones’ waist as he nuzzled his cheek. 

Bones felt his heart swell and skip a couple of beats. So many years of longing for this, for Jim in his arms…it was like getting the most important and begged for present on a list. He closed his eyes and inhaled Jim’s scent as one of his arms rested on his waist, and his other hand caressed Jim’s cheek.

“I didn’t sleep very well last night,” Jim said after a while. “So I’m sorry in advance if I doze off.”

“No problem,” Bones said. “Is everything okay?”

Jim shrugged. “Realizing how in love with you I am did a number on me, is all. I’m fine now.”

Bones nodded. Something occurred to him then, and he frowned. “You were going to tell me over breakfast, weren’t you?”

Stiffening, Jim nodded. “Yeah.”

As Bones grimaced, he contemplated letting Jim go to punch himself in the mouth. “I’m an asshole, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let her join us.”

“It’s okay,” Jim said. “You didn’t realize, and I ultimately ended up confessing. Things worked out the way they’re supposed to.”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” Bones said. Jim pressed closer, and Bones could feel the rise and fall of his chest and the beating of his heart. Something occurred to him then, and he winced. “There's something I should say.”

“What?” Jim said, pulling back far enough to see his face.

Bones gathered his thoughts before speaking a second time. For once, Jim was patient and let him. “It's not that I didn't want to talk about Khan...” he began.

His brow furrowing, Jim's expression showed his confusion. “Okay.”

“It's that I thought I couldn't,” Bones continued. “Because of what it made me feel.”

Jim's left eyebrow rose. “What do you mean?”

Bones worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “I mean, seeing you. On the slab in a body bag. It...”

The expression on his face must have told Jim everything he needed to hear, because his expression softened, and his eyes filled with a bit of shame and a lot of love. “Oh, Bones,” he said as soft as he would in a church service. “I never...I didn't think...”

“You did what you had to,” Bones said. “You did what you always have to, in order to keep the rest of us afloat. But Jim...I can't see that again, okay? I really need you, going forward, to take the third option. Please. Especially now.”

Jim's expression faltered, his eyes focusing on a point to the left of Bones' face. It took him several minutes to answer. “I can't promise it'll never happen again.”

Bones opened his mouth to protest.

“ _But_ ,” Jim said, cutting him off. “But...I will do everything I can to ensure it's as last resort as possible. Like way at the back of the bus. Okay?”

Sighing, Bones shook his head a few times. “Jim---”

“Bones, you have to understand.” Jim grabbed his chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. “I have over a thousand people depending on me. I have to put those people first. If I don't, I can't do my job. And since one of those people is _you_...well, there's no force that can stop me from keeping you safe. I don't want to take those risks. I don't want to make the sacrifice play. But I _will_ if it means saving you, saving _everyone_ , and there's no other way out.” 

Jim slid down enough to tuck his head up under Bones' chin, and with that simple gesture, Bones realized Jim was right. For better or for worse, their lives all depended on Jim, and part of why he loved Jim so much was his willingness to give his all if it spared even one Ensign or Yeoman.

He couldn't...more to the point, he _wouldn't_ ask him to change.

“I know,” Bones said. Jim's eyes lit up, a soft smile forming on his face. He cuddled up closer, and Bones could feel the tension seep out of his body. They were quiet for a few minutes, and Bones kissed Jim’s hairline.

Jim didn’t stir or move, and Bones realized he had fallen asleep as predicted. Smiling, Bones kissed his hair a second time, and he closed his eyes. He whispered a soft “sweet dreams” to Jim, and fell asleep himself.

\------

A fair amount of time later, though he wasn’t certain how much, Bones heard someone call his name. Grumbling a bit, he shifted and stretched on his bed when he realized he held a person in his arms.

Oh, right. 

Jim.

Bones’ eyes opened, and sure enough, he gazed right into Jim’s sleep-filled baby blues. “Hey Bones,” Jim said on the edge of a yawn. “We should wake up. It’s been three and a half hours.”

That managed to catch Bones’ attention. “Seriously?” He rolled over onto his other side to check the time; sure enough, he was right. They had slept the whole afternoon away.

“Yeah,” Jim said. “I didn’t realize we were so tired, otherwise I would have set an alarm.”

“Ditto,” Bones said. He shifted back into his former position, pulling Jim close. “Ah well. We both have another day off tomorrow; it’s okay this once.”

“Mhmm,” Jim said. He pushed, and they rolled so Bones lay on his back with Jim on top of him. Jim’s eyes sparkled in the dim lighting of the room as he looked down at Bones with a smile. “Good morning, starshine,” he said, his tone bright and cheery.

Bones snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

Jim waggled his brows. “ _Mea culpa_ ,” he said. 

Before Bones could reply, he leaned down the scant distance and kissed him. It was a warm, loving kiss, and Bones sank into it, savoring the feel of the press of their lips together.

Jim seized the opportunity and deepened it, sliding his tongue past Bones’ lips. Bones obliged, dancing his tongue with Jim’s and moaning. Kissing Jim felt like _everything_ , like it was as necessary as the air he breathed or the water he drank. It was perfect and addicting, and Bones clutched Jim’s back to keep him as close as he could without crawling into his skin.

Jim shifted on top of him, lining their hips up together, and Bones could feel his half-hard cock press against his thigh. It occurred to him that the only things separating them were the thin cotton of Jim’s briefs and the silk of his boxers. The need for nothing being between them hit with such force it startled him out of the kiss. Bones broke it, and Jim blinked wide-eyes open at him with surprise.

“What’s wrong?” Jim asked.

“Naked,” Bones managed to say, though his brain had short-circuited. “You. Us.”

Jim’s expression shifted into a coy smile. He shook his head. “With eloquence like that, it’s little wonder you’re usually successful at the bars when you’re chasing tail.”

His expression souring, Bones rolled his eyes. “Shut up and get undressed.”

“And with such manners and respect on top of the smooth talking,” Jim continued, though he did pull the gray t-shirt off, tossing it in the direction of the rest of their clothes. Bones made a relieved noise as he stripped out of his own undershirt, dropping it next to the bed. Bare skin against bare skin, Jim pressed back down into Bones to nip at his bottom lip. 

Bones responded, arching up into Jim’s body and shifting the nipping into another kiss. He fed it all of his passion and pent-up longing, making sure that Jim could feel everything he had to offer. Judging from the muffled groan Jim made into his mouth, it worked, and Bones rolled them so it was Jim’s turn to lay on his back with Bones slotted between his thighs.

Jim’s nails ghosted over Bones’ biceps up to his shoulders and then down his back, tracing elaborate patterns in his skin. In response, Bones’ mouth trailed from Jim’s lips to his cheek and then his jawline, pressing hot and wet against the stubble. Jim sighed and tilted his head, giving Bones more room for his ministrations.

As he propped himself up on one arm, Bones used his other hand to stroke and caress down Jim’s chest, mapping every inch. He found a ticklish spot under his bottom right rib, the sound of Jim giggling filling the room like music. It was one of the sweetest sounds Bones had ever heard, and he decided his new life goal was to make it happen as often as he could.

His hand slid back up Jim’s torso to his right nipple, and he rolled it between the pads of his thumb and forefinger. Jim’s breath hitched, and his cheeks darkened as Bones teased the peak into stiffness. Jim’s hips shifted restlessly below him, and Bones could feel Jim’s cock come alive, growing fully erect against his leg. 

For years, Bones had contemplated Jim’s body and the sundry things he’d do to it. There were so many possibilities, so many places he could go and paths he could follow. It was almost overwhelming, because Bones had never been good at being patient. He wanted everything right then and not even a minute later.

His hand dipped down Jim’s body to caress his abdomen; while Jim was a relatively thin man, which Bones adored, he had a bit of a pudgy stomach. Probably from all of the burgers and beer, he realized as he caressed it with slow touches that made Jim pant and squirm. His hand found the trail of blond hair, somewhat darker than the hair on Jim’s head, and stroked it, petting it like he would a purring cat.

Jim made a little noise, similar to a keen as Bones’ hand slid to the elastic waistband of his underwear, hovering at it. He let go of Bones’ back to grab his wrist, directing him to the cloth-covered bulge in his briefs. Bones snorted, shaking his head a few times. “So impatient.”

“You’re a tease,” Jim said between shallow breaths. 

“I would be if I did something insanely dickish like leave right this second,” Bones admitted. “Which I’m not, because I’ve been waiting for this probably longer than you realize, and that would be shooting myself in the foot.”

“You wouldn’t make it two steps before I shot off the bed and strangled you,” Jim said, his voice strained with irritation.

“Killing me is counter-productive to both of our goals, you do realize that?” Bones said. 

“I didn’t say I’d murder you,” Jim pointed out. “Just that I’d choke you. Tiny choking. Small enough to scare you without actually causing damage. No harm, no foul.”

Bones moved so he could look Jim in the eye. “No harm, no foul, when you’re talking about attacking me with deadly force.”

“It’s _with love_ ,” Jim said. A shit-eating grin formed on his face, and before Bones could ask, he flipped them. Bones lay on his back for the second time, with about 180 pounds of starship captain straddling his waist. Jim’s eyes hooded with desire, and he grabbed Bones’ wrists, pinning them to the mattress on either side of his head. Bones didn’t struggle, but why would he have? He liked it.

A lot.

Jim bent over him, sucking on his bottom lip. Bones arched off the bed up towards him, desperate for full contact. Jim pulled his teeth along Bones’ lip causing bite marks and swelling. Groaning, Bones managed to free his right hand to rub his own cock through his boxers with needy strokes. 

Jim pulled off him with a wicked smile. “I wanted to do this slow, but I’m not sure that’s going to be possible,” he said as he used his free hand to return Bones’ earlier favor, stroking and caressing his chest starting with the patch of brown hair in the middle. 

Bones grumbled something that may have been an agreement or an insult against Jim’s parentage; even he wasn’t sure. “We can take our time on round two. I _have_ stressed how long I’ve been waiting, right?”

Jim shrugged. “Who says I haven’t been waiting?”

Bones froze, looking at Jim with bafflement. “What?”

As he shrugged again, Jim’s eyebrows furrowed. “Well, I mean…maybe I didn’t consciously know it or whatever, but how else would I have started lusting after you in twelve hours and fallen in love with you in thirty-six? Is that even possible? Especially with how long we’ve known each other as friends. So I think…I think it was always there, and I didn’t want to see it or admit it. Maybe I wasn’t ready for it until I got a push.”

“Until you got so jealous you couldn’t see straight, you mean,” Bones said with a smile.

Jim huffed. “Yeah, yeah. How would you feel if another you showed up, and I started spending all my time with him? Or her, I guess, would be more applicable to this situation.”

“I didn’t spend ‘all my time’ with Jamie,” Bones said. “But I’ll be a grown-up and admit I’d be sick and beside myself.”

“See?” Jim said. “My reaction’s not that weird.”

“It was still a bit disturbing, all things considered,” Bones said, and his cock throbbed for a second. Better to put a stop to this before the mood got ruined. “But it’s done now. And also: less talking, more sex. Please.”

Jim brightened, his eyes glittering with a mixture of lust and joy. “As you wish,” he said, his voice throaty. He bent his face down to Bones, and they kissed, long and hot and deep. Jim mewled into it, a sound that sent shivers up Bones’ spine. When they broke apart, both of them panted with glassy-eyes and flushed cheeks.

“All I’ve thought about for three days,” Jim whispered against Bones’ lips, “is you. How your hands feel, or how soft your lips are. What your hair feels like between my fingers. The warmth of your body. The beat of your heart. How green your eyes get.”

Bones hitched out a groan, and Jim let go of his wrist. He grabbed the waistband of Jim’s briefs, peeling it down. Jim lifted off him enough for him to remove them. His cock, hard and red with a slight curve and a pearl off fluid at the tip, rested against his stomach from a patch of dark blond hair, and Bones licked his lips out of reflex at the delectable sight. 

Jim settled back, sitting on Bones’ stomach, and Bones reached out, grasping his cock in a firm grip. Jim’s eyes fluttered closed as he sighed, and Bones’ hand danced up and down the shaft once in an experiment. Jim made a sort of broken whimper, his hips canting towards Bones’ fist. 

“Should I get you off like this?” Bones said, his voice molasses-thick, elongating the vowels and losing consonants. “Make you come all over me, make you fall apart here like this?”

Jim made another noise. “Fuck, Bones.”

“Or do you want me to suck you?” Bones mused. “Take your cock all the way down my throat, wreck you with my tongue, tasting every bit of you?”

Now Jim made a frustrated groan. “Jesus Christ.”

Bones couldn’t stop a smirk from forming as he tightened his grip, stroking Jim’s shaft with more deliberateness and strength. “Or I could flip you over, finger you until you beg, and ride that ass of yours until you’re a shaking, screaming mess…”

Jim squeezed his eyes shut and wailed. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth before managing to look down at Bones. Having regained some of his composure, he said, “Maybe it’ll be _me_ riding _your_ ass, did you ever think of that?”

Bones’ cock twitched and throbbed in his boxers, and he felt a desperate need to get naked and under or on top of Jim as soon as possible. At that point, he didn’t give a shit about which it was. Just…sex. It was necessary.

Judging from the smug edge to Jim’s smile, it must have shown on his face. Jim shifted off him to pull the boxers down, adding them to the pile of their clothing. He stared down at Bones’ cock for a second, his eyes drinking in the sight with a mixture of greed and hunger. 

Jim dragged his fingers across the precome-drizzled tip, bringing them up to his mouth to suck. “Mmm,” he said after a second. “You taste good, Bones.”

Bones growled, a rumbling noise deep in the back of his throat as Jim ran his thumb over his head with grace and precision. He was almost hard to the point of pain, and he tried to will Jim into something, _anything_ more than he gave at that moment.

Jim’s eyes focused inward, and he removed his hand from Bones’ cock, leaning over and across him to reach inside Bones’ nightstand drawer. He peered into it, fishing around for a while before he grabbed the tube of lubricant Bones kept for jerking off.

Jim’s expression became pleased as he set it on the bed next to them. He moved close to kiss Bones with sloppy tongues and heat. It was good, better than anything Bones ever had, but it wasn’t enough. 

He needed more.

He needed _everything_ , everything Jim could offer or ever give him. Bones was a pile of reckless want and selfishness made flesh, his body humming with a desire ascending rapidly to a peak that was so close he could almost taste it.

Jim opened the lube, coating the fingers of his left hand with it. Through the fog of his want and lust, Bones somehow had the presence of mind to grab a pillow, putting it under the small of his back. Jim nodded with approval as Bones bent his legs at the knees, spreading them wide enough that Jim could reach his slick fingers underneath, massaging and teasing the ring of muscle he found between Bones’ cheeks.

Bones closed his eyes as Jim’s hand continued it’s feather-light touches, although he grew frustrated and noisy. “Jim,” he said, his voice rough and begging. “Jim, _please_...”

Jim’s eyes glittered as he licked his bottom lip. He didn’t speak, instead choosing to answer by sliding the first finger into Bones up to the second knuckle. Bones reached out, grabbing the base of his cock with a squeeze. It wasn’t time; he didn’t want to come until Jim was in him.

Thrusting his finger in and out, Jim’s forehead glistened with sweat as he watched Bones’ reactions. Bones growled on the bed, writhing and thrusting his hips with his hand. He continued to hold his cock, praying his willpower would be enough to prevent him spilling over his fist. 

“Get on with it,” Bones commanded, though the slight whine in his voice undermined the harshness. “While we’re young.”

Jim made a sound under his breath, his eyes darkening more than they already had. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to just ram my cock up your ass, _Doctor_ McCoy.”

“You’re prepping me like you’re trying to get the Guinness Galactic Record for ‘slowest foreplay,’” Bones said. “I just said a few minutes ago I can’t do slow this time. Hurry up.”

Jim snorted, but he did add the second finger to both Bones’ delight and relief. Jim crooked them after a few thrusts, pausing with a curious look on his face as he used them to search. His left eyebrow rose as he found Bones’ prostate, pressing into it with both fingers.

Bones shouted, gripping the base of his cock as more precome dripped out of his slit. He tensed, sparks shimmering behind his lids as Jim repeated the motion several times. His free hand scrabbled in the bedclothes, grabbing the sheets tight. “ _Fuck_ ,” was all he could say as he shook, nerves overloaded from pleasure.

“If you think that’s good,” Jim said as he did it again and again, pressing his thumb up against Bones’ balls, getting him from both sides. Bones screamed, unable to form anything but primal sounds. “Wait ‘til I’m actually fucking you.”

Bones couldn’t argue or talk; his grip tightened in the sheets so hard he was sure his knuckles were white. Jim continued his ministrations, playing him like a prize virtuoso would a grand piano. Jim added a third finger, stretching him with a bit of a burn, and more precome flooded Bones’ tip.

Being almost thirty-three, Bones had his share of sex. A lot of it was decent, some was bad, but there had been a few nights of transcendental bliss. 

And then there was _this_.

Since they started, all he and Jim had done was foreplay, albeit long and well-savored, and it was already the best, brightest, hottest sex he’d ever had. They were still learning each other, still feeling out each other’s likes and dislikes, and yet everything felt _right_.

If this was going to set the tone for the rest of his life...well, Bones would have been a fool to complain.

Regaining what remained of his composure, Bones growled, causing Jim to moan. “Fuck, that’s a hot sound,” Jim said. “Went straight to my dick.”

“Can you fuck me?” Bones said. “And thanks. Other partners have liked it too.”

Jim’s face twisted a bit at the words _other partners_. “That ends now, right?” he asked as his fingers withdrew. He grabbed Bones’ thighs, pushing them further apart and settling on his knees between them. Grabbing the lube for the second time, Jim slathered his so-red-it-was-almost-purple cock with it, positioning it against Bones’ entrance. He pushed forward enough that just the tip breached him, drawing out a long contented moan. 

“What’s ending?” Bones said. He’d passed the point where he could focus on anything but Jim and his beautiful, perfect cock and his hands and his body heat and---

Jim’s slide continued, ending only when he was buried so deep, Bones could feel his pubic hair against his skin. “Your other sexual partners. That’s not happening anymore. Right?”

Bones opened his eyes, realizing at some point he’d turned his head to the side. He looked up at Jim with a curious and somewhat confused expression. “You think the first time we do this is the time for the exclusivity talk?” Something else occurred to him then, and he raised an eyebrow. “Admittedly, I hadn’t expected _you_ to initiate it at all.”

Jim thrust out, then back in. He did it again, slow and smooth like a dream. The look on his face said he had to consider his words with care before he spoke. His cock felt, for lack of a better word, delicious: it slid in and out with the perfect rhythm, with the perfect girth and length, and Bones again had to try to stave off his orgasm from happening too soon.

“I don’t want…” Jim managed in between thrusts. “I don’t like it.”

Having decided, essentially, to say fuck it and if he came, he could always do so again, Bones slicked his cock with his precome and stroked it in earnest. “Like what?”

Jim’s body didn’t hesitate, but his words did. “You. With someone else. I’m not a fan.”

Oh. 

“Hadn’t noticed,” Bones said drily, trying to make light of it. 

Yeah, sure, Jim wasn’t great at the whole serious talk thing under the best circumstances but...was he fucking kidding him right then?

“And _I_ don’t _want_ anyone else,” Jim continued as if he spoke about his current performance in bed. “Ergo, I don’t want an open relationship.”

Apparently, Jim wasn’t fucking kidding. Bones stared at him, still fisting his cock. “You have the worst God damn timing, you know that?”

Jim’s hips stuttered. “We need to set up the rules. From a tactical standpoint, it makes sense for me to do this now in case you’re not amenable to being exclusive. Because if you’re not I can do this----” He shifted, twisted his hips, and his cock pushed against Bones’ prostate, causing him to shout. “---Over and over until you’re begging to come and willing to do anything for the privilege.”

Bones’ hand stopped. He blinked a few times up at Jim, his mouth opening a little. “Our relationship is not warfare,” he managed to say between moans as Jim continued to pound that spot.

“In the immortal words of Pat Benatar,” Jim said, grabbing Bones’ cock to keep stroking him. Bones gasped, arching his back off the bed as Jim ran his thumb across his slit, making him see shooting stars. “Love is a battlefield.”

Jim twisted his hips again, then a third time, pumped Bones’ cock, and that was it; he was gone, his blood rushing hotly through his veins, his vision fading into white, his nerves sparking like lightning. Bones thought he heard someone shout, and it took him a second to realize it was him. He collapsed against the bed, spent, his come having coated Jim’s hand and stomach.

“Jesus,” Bones managed to whisper once he regained the power of speech.

Hazy and punchdrunk, Bones watched half-lidded with a smile as Jim lost it, thrusting wildly within him until he stiffened with another wail, his arms supporting his weight as he trembled in the aftermath of his orgasm. His posture going limp, Jim sort-of tumbled into a laying position next to Bones on his back. He somehow managed to tangle his feet in Bones’ calves, but that was okay. They lay together, catching their breath for several minutes.

“Well, that was outstanding,” Jim said to break the silence. 

Bones cleared his throat before lying on his side; he kept their legs caught together as he gave Jim a long look. Jim sensed the attention and turned his face to him with a shaky smile. 

“You didn’t answer me,” Jim said, his voice faltering on the last two words.

Staring at him, Bones licked his lips. “After wanting you for so long, do you really think I’m going to throw myself at someone else?”

Jim’s silence was eloquent, as was the slight fear in his eyes.

Bones shook his head once. “It’s _you_. Not Jamie. Not Jocelyn. Not Gaila or anyone else I’ve been with. _It is you_.”

The fear faded, leaving only love and delight.

“And you’re a fucking lunkhead,” Bones couldn’t help but add. “If you ever do this shit where you’re fucking me, and you try to have a serious conversation because I’m in a delicate position again, I’ll make you stop _and_ put you on the couch for a week.”

Jim’s smile brightened. “You just said we’re going to be together every night.”

Bones closed his eyes and shook his head. “As usual, you hear what you want and ignore everything else.”

As he scooted closer, Bones felt Jim’s hands slide up his biceps, caressing them. “In perpetuity, right?”

“It’s a romance, not a mortgage,” Bones grumbled. “Stop thinking about this as min/max or win/lose.”

Jim lay silent with a look on his face that Bones knew all too-well; it was the look he had when he had to weigh consequences before settling on a decision. After a minute or two, he shrugged. “Says the man who didn’t have to fight a female version of himself to win my heart.”

At that moment, Bones realized a lot of things could have been avoided if he’d said one sentence to Jim. Granted, he wasn’t sure he had permission to tell Jim Jamie’s business, but she didn’t forbid it, either. “Not me. She’s not in love with me.”

“Bullshit,” Jim said. “I see the look in her eyes. I hear it in her voice, too, and it’s obvious from how she gravitates to you. If that wasn’t love at first sight, I don’t know what is.” A worried look crossed Jim’s features. “Shit. I’m going to have to be the reason why I get my heart broken.”

Bones smiled, not just because Jim showed compassion towards her. “Not me, Jim. Her Bones.” 

Blinking, Jim opened his mouth for a second before closing it like a dead fish. “What?”

“She loves him,” Bones said. “She told me the first day. He’s all she’s ever wanted, but he apparently thinks of her as a sibling. She came to me to ask how you and I had gotten together. I confessed we hadn’t, she opened up, and we...commiserated.”

“Commiserated,” Jim said with a flat voice.

“I didn’t think you’d ever want me,” Bones said. “I knew what I wanted, but I assumed it was out of reach. She’s in a similar situation, though I think maybe he might come around at some point. At least, I hope he does. She deserves to be happy.”

Having frowned a little, Jim’s eyebrows furrowed until something clicked. “Wait. Is that why you had sex?”

Bones nodded. “Partly. We’re genuinely attracted to each other, but...well. It was a chance to sort-of have it all for a bit. It was comfort and an attempt at wish-fulfillment, but instead of being in the moment with each other we kind of…I don’t want to make it sound like we used each other, but I can’t exactly deny that being part of it either. In the end, we’re just too close to who each of us really wants that it felt...empty.”

To his credit, Jim attempted to squash the shit-eating grin. He failed, but it was the thought that counted.

Bones rolled his eyes. “This is the part where you start crowing about how Jamie can suck it since the sex was better with you, isn’t it?”

Jim's expression turned sly. “I wouldn’t tell her to suck it, because she already did, and we just established we’re exclusive.”

“No actually, she didn----” The look on Jim’s face froze Bones in his tracks. “Ahem.”

“ _Anyways_ ,” Jim continued. “I wouldn’t crow either. I’d just bask in our amazing sexual and romantic chemistry. And maybe remind you of this every so often.”

Bones sighed, but pulled Jim close. Whether instinct took over or Jim felt that comfortable, Bones couldn’t tell as Jim folded himself up in his arms, sliding to tuck his head under his chin and nuzzling close. “Yes, darlin’,” he said once Jim made himself comfortable.

Jim cleared his throat, and his breathing became a bit shallow.

“Yes?”

“As a head’s up, you might not want to call me that unless you’re in the mood,” Jim said. “Like to immediately fuck.”

Well, that was good to know for later use.

“Maybe later. I’m not as young as I used to be,” Bones said. “Darlin’.”

Jim groaned. “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”

“You’re cruising for a bruising,” Bones said.

Jim shifted his position, moving somehow closer. “Meh.”

Bones blinked for a second before snorting.

“What?”

“That’s basically the summation of our entire relationship,” Bones said. “I get exasperated with you, and you couldn’t be less impressed.”

“Yup.”

Bones smiled. “Maybe that’s why it’s only ever really been you.”

Jim lay silent for a while, long enough Bones thought he might have dozed off. He hadn’t, because he said, “And don’t forget it,” but his voice sounded softer than it should have.

“Never could,” Bones said. He called to dim the lights, and they lay, breathing together until they slept again.

And as he drifted off, Bones realized that everything, all the wishing and other people...it’d all been worth it, every last second. Things were right.

\-----

The door buzzer rang once, causing Bones to stir. Then it went silent, and he settled back into place.

That is, until it rang a second time. This time, the person held it down for a solid minute. 

“God damn it,” Bones said with yawn.

“Ignore it,” Jim added, his voice also sleepy. His eyelids didn’t even flutter; he just lay encircled by Bones’ arms as if nothing happened.

“It could be an emergency,” Bones said. He loosened his grip to sit up, glancing down at his body. They had showered after their nap but before fucking again, so fortunately he wasn’t horrific in terms of…evidence. Still, he had nothing on, not even underwear.

“Wouldn’t they have commed you?” Jim asked. He propped himself up on an elbow as Bones pulled on his boxers and jeans from the day before.

The bell rang again, and this time the person made it play “The Girl from Impanema.”

Bones froze with his shirt part of the way on as Jim made a face and flopped back on the bed. “Fucking terrific.”

“I can’t imagine who would be that annoying,” Bones said as he finished with the shirt. “You’re already…” It caught up to him, and the reason for Jim’s irritation was clear. “Oh. I think I know why she’s here.”

“I’m not down with a threesome,” Jim said. “Not this early in our relationship, and definitely not with _her_. Besides, even I know the third party’s supposed to be a stranger.” Jim grabbed one of Bones’ pillows, making a quasi-fort around his head. “Point of fact, typically when I was in one, I _was_ the stranger.”

Bones sighed. “That’s not why she’s here. She’s checking up on me, because she doesn’t realize we fixed things.”

Jim came out of the fort. “And why would she be checking up on you?”

Bones dropped back onto the bed, giving Jim a look filled with equal parts exasperation and love. He stroked his hair for a second. “Because I was fairly rude to her yesterday when she tried to be there for me. I all but said ‘fuck off.’”

The look in Jim’s eyes was wary, but he seemed appeased by Bones’ words. “Oh.”

“If your positions were reversed, wouldn’t you be worried about other me?” Bones continued, his voice gentle.

The wariness eased out of Jim’s face. “Well...I mean.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Okay. Go tell her it’s okay.” Jim resumed his nesting, burrowing under blankets. “I’m likely going to pass back out. It can’t possibly be after eight in the morning. Fuck that noise.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Go to back to sleep, if only to spare me your whining, you kindergartener.” Jim snorted from under the pillows, but didn’t offer further rejoinder as Bones walked to his door as the bell edged into the theme from an ancient television program about two cops in Hawaii.

As he reached the door, he opened it, leaning against the frame with a sour look. Jamie didn’t notice at first, as she was intent on ringing the bell to “Claire de Lune.”

“Are you quite finished?” Bones said.

Startled, Jamie blinked at him before letting the buzzer go. “Now I am. I was going to use my override next. Worried you’d had too good of a night with some pills and booze.”

“No one has taken an actual pill in 90 years,” Bones said almost to himself. 

Jamie smirked. “Nerd.” Before he could protest, she brushed past him, taking a seat on the sofa. Bones sighed with a short glance back to his bedroom area before sitting with her (but not too close) on the cushions.

Bones gave her a long look, trying to cherry-pick his words. “So. Before you ask, I’m fine. Better than, actually, and so is he.”

Her eyebrow rose. “Neither of you looked even close to fine yesterday.”

Bones shrugged. “He came here a few hours later. We talked. And, well...he’s still here.”

Jamie’s eyebrows knit together with confusion before her face smoothed out into a smile. The strain behind it would likely have only been noticeable to himself and her counterpart. “Oh. Congratulations! That’s...good to hear.”

The truth was, Bones didn’t owe her anything. They both understood that. But at that moment, he couldn’t help feeling like garbage for being happy when she couldn’t be. It was also a somewhat awkward position to be in; now that he had Jim, he couldn’t talk to her the same way anymore. It would hurt Jim too much, had hurt him the whole time.

He cared about Jamie...but Jim came first.

Bones opened his mouth to say something, but the words stalled. Everything felt too familiar or too empty; nothing that came to mind struck the right balance to be both well received and kind. 

Fortunately, someone gave him an out.

“You need to tell him,” said Jim. Bones and Jamie turned to him; he wore a pair of Bones’ sweat pants, drooping on his waist from their size difference, and his gray shirt from the day before. “When you get back. Not a minute later.”

Jamie turned halfway to Bones, giving him a curious and somewhat annoyed look.

“It’s not really breaking confidence if the person being told is you,” Bones said with a shrug.

“You go right ahead and think that, asswipe,” Jamie said. The smirk on her lips undermined the harsh words, and Bones snorted.

“I’ll get him later,” Jim added, causing Bones to stare at him in disbelief. “What? You told a secret. We’re the same but not. It’s not like you whispered it at my grave or some shit.”

“I didn’t sign on for the Wonder Twins to gang up on me,” Bones said with a grimace.

“Too bad,” Jim and Jamie said in unison. Jim crossed the floor to perch on the sofa arm behind Bones, draping his arm over him in a quasi-casual manner. Neither Bones nor Jamie missed the signal he gave off, from the gesture and the look in his eyes. He may as well have scribbled the word _mine_ on Bones’ shirt.

Jamie’s expression crumpled for a second before she regained her poise. “I owe you something of an apology,” she began, looking right into Jim’s eyes. “I was operating under the assumption that your feelings were...platonic.”

“I can’t get mad; so was I,” Jim said.

“And while we have had our differences,” Jamie continued. “I’m not in the habit of...taking what doesn’t belong to me.”

Bones pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m a fucking person, you do both know this, right?”

The pair had the decency to wince.

“Seriously. I have this thing called agency,” Bones continued. “I make my own decisions. Why, I even have likes and dislikes and all sorts of unique preferences that make me one of a kind.” Jamie and Jim gave him pointed looks. “Well, _mostly_ one of a kind. My points are as follows: don’t refer to me as an object anymore, and also don’t speak about me like I’m not physically present. It’s grating and caveman-ish and went out with Men’s Rights Activism in the early 21st century.”

Jim’s hand moved from across his chest up into his hair, petting him. In spite of the seriousness of his words, Bones couldn’t help but lean into it. “Sorry, Bones. It won’t be a thing anymore.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jamie said, again with a strained smile and her eyes on Jim’s hand. 

“Back to my original point,” Jim said. “You need to sit him down and lay it all out. No more of this pining from afar garbage. Tell him and let him have the option of giving you a chance. And if he somehow doesn’t, then frankly…fuck that guy.”

“More or less what I said, minus some of the finer points,” Bones added.

Jamie sighed. “It’s not that I haven’t thought about it. I just feel if he’s not interested in any capacity, he won’t be okay after my dramatic love confession and make things weird. And considering how I don’t think he’s ever even checked me out, I don’t have a lot of faith he’ll be receptive.”

“Just because he may not have ever thought about it before now doesn’t make it impossible for him to do so,” Jim said. “Look at me. Granted, I should have before now, and I feel like shit I didn’t.”

“You don’t have to feel that way,” Bones said, tilting his head to look at Jim in the eye.

“Eh,” Jim said as he met his gaze. “I’m going to for a while, because I feel like it’s caused us to waste a not insignificant amount of time. Plus, I made you hurt.”

“Not consciously,” Bones said.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jim answered with a shrug. “I’m going to be guilty for a while. Them’s the breaks. Sit back and enjoy how much I’m going to spoil you, you fucking shithead.”

Bones’ eyebrow rose, but he didn’t comment. The thought of Jim spoiling him did paint his cheeks with a deep flush, though.

Jamie snorted. “Way to be loving and romantic.”

“Eh, he knows it’s all love,” Jim said. His eyes widened. “You…do realize that, right?”

He could have reassured Jim, but the thought of making him squirm was much more appealing. Instead of saying anything, he pursed his lips and rolled his eyes.

Jim’s expression fell a little. Before he could speak, Jamie beat him to it. “You better. You treat him like he’s the most precious thing you’ve ever touched, because if you don’t, I’ll come for you, and I’ll surgically remove your balls with my right hand.”

Bones sighed. “You’re doing it again. The whole property thing. I can handle myself.”

“I have to say it,” Jamie said. “I’m not being disrespectful. I’m just putting it out there.”

Bones debated arguing about it, but then realized it’d be a lot easier to let it go. Normally, letting things go wasn’t a part of his vocabulary. He figured that he managed to land Jim.

He could be magnanimous this once. 

Jim didn’t look angry or put out by her words or the threat; his expression was nothing but sympathetic, and he nodded. “If I ever hurt him, through callousness or otherwise, I promise you, I will call you and arrange a meeting for you to carry said threat out.”

Bones’ heart skipped a beat as he leaned back to look at Jim a second time; Jim’s eyes moved to meet his, and they held each other’s gaze for a while. Long enough that Jamie had to clear her throat. Somewhat guilty, they both focused their attention back on her.

Jamie’s left eyebrow was up in her hair almost as she said, “You know, I wouldn’t mind watching. Just saying.”

Bones rolled his eyes. 

Jim's face flushed and twisted up in knots. “Er…”

Jamie burst out laughing. “Oh God, the look on your _face_ ,” she said between cackles. “Oh God. That was amazing.”

“Shut it,” Jim said with a cross expression. He folded his arms over his chest and looked away.

“Your _face_ ,” Jamie continued as she wheezed.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jim continued. His expression soured to such an extreme, Bones would have thought he sucked a particularly potent lemon.

“Make me,” she said on the tail end of a giggle.

His eyes narrowing, Jim’s expression shifted into seriousness. “Sure.”

Both Bones and Jamie stared at him. “Jim…”

“What’d you have in mind?” Jamie said, talking over Bones.

Bones sighed, burying his face in his hands. Jim rubbed the back of his neck, which felt incredible, but he didn’t look up. “You and me, three rounds on the mats in the gym. Winner gets to be Best Kirk in the Multiverse.”

“Do I get a trophy when I stomp you into the ground?” Jamie said.

Bones shook his head, which was still buried in his hands. “You’re both children. Impossible, stubborn children. Spoiled brats.”

Jim snorted, his hand squeezing his skin before dropping. “Give us an hour, and we’ll meet you in the gym.”

“Right on,” Jamie said. She stood and stretched, giving them a quirked grin. “See you in a few, Bones. Loser,” she tossed to Jim as she exited the room. 

Jim chuffed a laugh as he slid down onto the couch, Bones shifting forward to give him some room. He sat, wrapping around Bones like an overly-affectionate octopus, and Bones leaned back into it, his hands gripping Jim’s wrists. They sat together for a while, Jim’s lips occasionally drifting behind Bones’ ear or over the nape of his neck. 

“You know you’re first, right?” Bones said.

Jim didn’t answer, but his grip tightened a little.

“It’s not a contest,” Bones continued. “She isn’t you. _You’re_ you.”

Again, Jim didn’t speak. He buried his face in Bones’ neck and took a long, deep breath. Bones let him, understanding he needed time to gather his thoughts. “I’ll get that eventually,” Jim said, his voice soft and filled with sincerity. 

Bones smiled, turning so they could see each other. His legs bent to fit in between Jim’s as he took his face in his hands. Jim gave him a curious look, but before he could speak, Bones covered his lips with his own, giving him a long, sweet kiss. When they parted, Jim’s eyes were much brighter, shimmering like the sun. 

“Come on,” Bones said. He managed to get up, pulling Jim’s hands so he’d do the same. “Let’s get cleaned up and changed so we can meet Jamie on time.”

“Mmmm,” Jim said. He followed Bones into the bedroom, lighter and happier than he had been since Jamie first rang the bell. 

Bones chalked it up in the “win” column.

\-----

With one minute to spare, Bones and Jim entered the gym. Jim wore a pair of running shorts and a black tank top with the Starfleet emblem on the chest, while Bones had on a pair of loose jeans and a green t-shirt.

Dressed in the sports bra and tight running pants from the other day, Jamie stood on the mat talking to Hikaru Sulu. The two of them laughed about something, Jamie swatting him on the chest with her towel. They stood too close to be professional, and Bones shook his head a few times. 

Jim also watched them with a slight frown for a minute before turning to Bones. The look in his eyes was a bit sad, which made Bones frown in response. “What’s wrong?” he whispered in order to prevent the others from hearing.

“Just…” Jim said. He sighed, trying to speak again. “Nothing, but…seeing this reminds me that I made you think for years that I’d never want you, and it makes me feel like an asshole. That’s all.”

“I could have been more forthcoming,” Bones said with a shrug. “I wasn’t; I was a coward.”

Jim sighed. “I’m not going to argue over who’s more at fault for this only happening now and not, say, years ago. I’m just saying, I understand why you felt like you couldn’t be up front.”

Without care of where they were, Bones grabbed Jim, pulling him into a kiss like he did back on his couch. When they parted, the shadows had been chased from Jim’s face, and Bones smiled. “There. That’s what I like to see.”

Jim smiled, a small, shy, boyish one that made Bones’ heart flutter, and Bones realized in that moment how happy he made him. It was a wonderful, uplifting feeling, and he never wanted to know anything else. 

Jamie cleared her throat, but when Bones looked at her, there was nothing in her eyes but joy. “Gentlemen,” she said as she made a gesture like tipping a hat.

Hikaru looked more shocked. His mouth hung open a bit, and his eyes widened like saucers. “When…?”

“Recently,” he, Jamie, and Jim all said in unison. 

Hikaru glanced at all of them in turn before giving Jim and Bones a pointed look. “Fair enough,” he said, his tone indicating that the conversation wasn’t over. 

Jim reached his arms up to the ceiling, stretching the kinks out. He stepped onto the mats, taking the opposite diagonal corner from Jamie. 

Jamie took her place in her corner, stretching her hamstrings for a second. She then put her hands up in a fighting stance. “Come at me, bro,” she said with a grin.

Jim smirked, raising his own hands in a mirror of hers. They moved closer, circling around each other as Bones moved to stand next to Hikaru, the two spectators watching with interest. Hikaru cleared his throat as Jamie took the first blood, running up to Jim, jumping into the air, and grabbing him around the neck with her thighs, pinning him to the mats.

“Jesus,” Hikaru said. “I could probably hammer nails with my dick right now.”

Bones contemplated telling him to fuck off before he opted to smirk. “Lady does her kegels.”

Just as Hikaru turned to stare at him in disbelief, Jim freed himself from her grip, taking the advantage to grab her and pin her by the back to the mats. His knee was between her legs, firmly holding her in place, and Bones had to admit, it made a pretty picture. 

Sort of like the twin fantasy everyone had but didn’t admit out loud.

Bones also had to admit the dick being able to hammer nails analogy was a somewhat apt one. “Christ,” he muttered.

Hikaru continued to stare at him.

“What?”

“You just…” Hikaru said, voice holding a not insignificant amount of awe. “Both? You’re tapping both? That seems kind of…I don’t know…dogshit for the rest of us.”

Bones looked at Hikaru out of the corner of his eye. “Wasn’t aware you were interested in Jim,” was what he said to ferret out details.

“I…” Hikaru said as Jamie flipped herself and Jim; she straddled Jim’s collarbone, punching him to get him to submit. “I never thought of the captain like that until I saw her and…”

Bones sighed. “Jesus…really?”

Hikaru had the grace to blush, an appealing shade of red as he watched them grapple with each other. Jim regained the upper hand, grabbing Jamie in a full-nelson as she struggled in his grip. “I just like blonde girls with long legs, is all.”

Bones snorted. “If you think she’s just a ‘girl’, it proves you’re not man enough for her,” he said. “She’s a lady, regardless of what she’s doing right now.”

Hikaru went to reply, but before he could, the loud whistle of a communicator went off. It was Jim’s; Bones normally wouldn’t have answered it, but given everything else, he figured why the fuck not? “This is Captain Kirk’s communicator,” he said.

The person on the other end made oddly flustered sounds, enough so Bones could tell he was Scotty, before speaking. _Er, okay? Can you get the captain, Leonard? It’s…well. There are people. Here. To see him. And a certain guest we have._

What?

“Wait, what?”

Before Scotty could reply, of all fucking things, his _own_ voice said, _Is that Leonard? I mean…me?_

Bones blinked. “Yes?”

_Where are you on the ship? Is Jamie with you?_ He sounded angry, impatient, and a host of things Bones didn’t think worked in his voice now that he had heard them from the other end. 

Surely he was less shitty than this guy?

“Er…we’re in the gym on deck five,” he said. “Jim and Jamie are intent on killing each other. Bring towels,” he finished, severing the commlink. He then put his index fingers in his mouth and whistled; Jim had Jamie almost pinned, and both of them looked at him with a cross between annoyance and confusion. “Break it up, kids. We’ve got visitors coming.”

Jim stood, helping Jamie up with a hand. Both of them had the sheen of sweat on their faces, and Jim noticed Hikaru’s confusion as well. Just in time, as the gym doors opened, presenting them with a second Bones, two Spocks, and Scotty. 

The Spocks conversed with relative animation, banding about theories as to how they crossed realities and whatnot. Scotty looked confused and flustered, his hands wringing a bit in front of him.

But the other Bones…

“Jamie!” he shouted, shoving past the Spocks to run towards her.

“Bones?” Jamie said, the love lighting in her eyes for all to see. A dull, tiny pang hit Bones’ chest at the look on her face, but was brief and not really jealous. It was more that seeing her Bones made her happier than anything had in the days she’d been on their ship…and Bones realized if their positions were reversed, he’d be the same seeing his Jim. 

Before anyone else could speak, her Bones reached her, grabbing in her in a fierce embrace. His back was to Bones, her face visible over his shoulder, and judging by the stunned look in her eyes, she hadn’t expected such a passionate greeting. He held her for dear life, as if he thought she’d disappear right out from under him. 

Which, technically she already had.

Jim came to stand next to Bones, brushing the backs of their hands together. The other Bones said something, too low for them to really hear, but the way Jamie’s eyes widened further before glimmering with joy said it all. 

“Looks like she doesn’t need to tell him,” Jim said with a smile.

Bones also smiled. “She still will, if she’s smart. He should know she’s been there all along.”

Bones and Jamie broke apart, both of them staring into each other’s eyes like they were the only people to exist. She had a bright, sunny, perfect smile on her face, and Bones couldn’t help but wonder if Jim’s confession the day before made his own face look so luminous.

He turned to look at Jim, who focused on Bones and Jamie. The warmth that flooded Bones’ chest, the warmth and love, he realized he didn’t have to wonder. Without even needing a mirror, he knew the answer. He moved so that instead of lightly touching, Jim’s fingers entwined with his. 

Jim bit his lips around a smile as he squeezed his hand. 

Other Bones and Jamie came over to them, his arm around her shoulders and hers around his waist. If he hadn’t already suspected Bones said something fairly confessional to her, he’d know it for sure after how he looked at her right then. There was little doubt; she was his everything, like Jim was his. 

Finally managing to tear his eyes from her, the Other Bones gave Jim and Bones a long look. “I hear you took care of her,” he said as his eyes met Bones’. 

It was a bit surreal to look himself in the eye like that, but Bones shrugged it off. “You’d do the same for my Jim.”

The Other Bones gave Jim a long look. Jim smiled at him with a bit of self-deprecation. “You look…” Other Bones started before trailing off. “Sorry. It’s just different.”

“I think we can sympathize,” Jim said with a look to Jamie. Jamie winked at them.

“Anyways,” the other Bones continued. “I owe you a debt I can’t ever repay. The fact that she had another me to keep an eye out for her…well. It means a great deal more than I have the words to say.” His voice was rough and hoarse, filled to the brim with emotion. 

Bones smiled, glancing back between them. His counterpart cleared his throat, looking a bit awkward, as Jamie squeezed his waist. “Don’t get so soppy, Bones,” she teased. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Easy for you to say,” Other Bones groused with a scowl. “Haven’t slept in days, been up all night trying to help get you home where you belong. Meanwhile, I had no idea if you were…”

“Bones,” Jamie said with a cross between exasperation and warmth.

He sighed, his thumb shifting to rub against the junction where her neck and shoulder met. A flush spread down Jamie’s face at the intimate gesture, and Bones couldn’t help but think she looked like a little girl who got a treasured gift for her birthday. 

Before any of them could speak, one of the Spocks cleared his throat. “Captain, Doctor McCoy,” he said, his gaze focused on Jamie and Other Bones. “We need to hasten back to our _Enterprise_. The window for us to beam back is minimal and closing at a rapid pace...”

“That’s our cue, then,” Jamie said. She pulled away from her Bones, stepping up into Bones’ personal space and wrapping him in a long hug. “I promise I’ll tell him everything when we’re alone,” she whispered. “And thank you for everything you’ve done.”

“You too, darlin’,” he whispered back. “By the way...don't trust Admiral Marcus or John Harrison.”

They broke apart, Jamie's expression somewhat perplexed, and she moved to Jim. He was just as surprised as Bones was when she repeated the gesture, hugging him long and hard. Bones couldn’t make out what she whispered to him, but a serious look crossed his face. “I will,” he said, loud enough for the other two to hear. “I promise.”

The two of them joined their Spock, and Scotty led the trio back to the transporter room. Other Bones put his arm back around Jamie, and they walked away.

As the doors slid open, Jamie turned and gave Bones another long look. She smiled, and the gym door slid closed.

She – they – were gone.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are we sure things are how they should be?
> 
> I think Jamie has something more to say on the subject.

_One Month Later_

 

The first thing that caught Bones’ attention when he entered his quarters after his shift was that the lights were only at forty percent.

The second was that plates and the good silver the _Enterprise_ kept for formal events sat on his coffee table with two champagne flutes. A bucket with ice sat, chilling a bottle of bubbly next to one of the plates. And a single one of Hikaru’s hybrid Vulcan-Terran roses rested elegantly in a vase in the middle. 

Music played in the background, romantic early 20th century jazz, as Bones took in everything in front of him. 

And there stood Jim, in a blue striped dress shirt and gray slacks, his feet in a pair of blue and gray argyle socks, and his smile shining in the dim light. Bones stared at him with a curious look. Before he could ask, Jim said a quiet, “Happy anniversary.”

Raising an eyebrow, Bones lifted his leg to unfasten his boot. “It’s only been a month.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Happy Month-aversary, then. Also no one likes pedantic people. They never get invited to parties, for example. Look at Spock.”

“It’s less his pedantic nature and more his sour disposition,” Bones said as he dropped his second boot to the floor. He hated shoes in the house, always had. “But point taken.”

Jim walked over, and Bones had the familiar, momentary disbelief he still felt when he saw _that_ look in Jim’s eyes. Even in all his wildest dreams before Jim realized how he felt, Bones never imagined him with a look like that; a look like Jim was drowning, utterly deprived of oxygen and fading until he saw Bones, drinking him in like he was the purest, cleanest mountain air. He looked at Bones like everything he could ever want or need was in him, just him, nothing or no one else.

Jim stood before him, his hands finding their way to Bones’ face, his thumbs stroking along his cheekbones. Dazzled, Bones could do little else but gaze into Jim’s eyes, hoping that the love he found in those baby-blues was echoed in his own. 

It must have been, because Jim’s smile softened, and his eyes shone somehow more. Before Bones could say anything, even those simple three words, Jim kissed the corner of his mouth, his lips drifting to give him a proper, full affair that lasted for several minutes. Bones’ eyes closed, his mouth parting on the tail end of a small moan as he felt his knees go ever-so-slightly weak.

They parted, and Jim’s eyes glittered with satisfaction. “Before we eat…”

“There’s eating involved?” Bones purred, pulling Jim in close by his belt loops. “Because I rather thought we’d go spend an hour or two in my bed.”

“Down, Bones,” Jim said with a teasing smile. “There’s something you should see. Then food. Then all of the sex. Even other people’s.” Bones gave Jim an odd look, and Jim also made a face. “Okay, wait no, because that sounds like either something that’d piss my entire crew off or like I’m suggesting an open thing between us. So not, by the way.”

“You’re kind of like a dog with a favorite toy,” Bones said as he moved to sit by his coffee table. His curiosity had taken over, and he wanted to see what Jim arranged for dinner.

“If you mean in terms of my being persnickety about how I don’t want other people touching you, I’d have more made the comparison to a kid,” Jim said, sitting next to Bones and grabbing, of all things, a PADD. “Calling me a dog implies other things that are a bit insulting.”

“Fair enough,” Bones said. “Then sure. You’re like a five year old who doesn’t grasp the concept of sharing.”

“I share fine,” Jim said with a haughty tone. “Just…not this. Is all.”

Bones smiled. “I don’t really mind, you know. It’s not like I actually want to fuck someone else.”

Jim gave him a serious look, but Bones didn’t miss the relief that passed through his features. “Yeah?”

Bones placed one hand on Jim’s thigh. “Do I really have to say it again? We’ve been over this, over how I waited…”

At the words _how I waited_ , Jim winced. “I am still so sorry about that.”

Bones sighed; he hadn’t meant to go there, as it always made Jim feel terrible. “I just meant that I already have everything I could ever hope for, Jim, and you _know_ this. I don’t need anything more than _you_. And I never will.”

The shadows were successfully chased from Jim’s eyes and expression; he looked content and even borderline smug, as a smirk formed on his lips. “Good. You better keep that in mind,” he said as he handed the PADD to Bones. Before he could inquire, Jim’s smirk became a sweet smile. “The message that’s open when you bring it out of sleep. I got CCed on it, and I think you’ll want to see it right away.”

Curiosity piquing at Jim’s words, Bones turned the PADD back on. The message was an email with a large photograph embedded at the end; he scanned the “from” field with a brief glance.

Then he stopped and read it again, and it made him smile, bright and wide.

_From: Kirk, Jamie T., Captain, USS Enterprise_   
_To: McCoy, Leonard H., CMO, USS Enterprise_   
_CC: Kirk, James T., Captain, USS Enterprise_   
_McCoy, Leonard H., CMO, USS Enterprise_

_Bones---_

_If I know you, and I think we both know I do, part of you probably worried we didn’t make it back okay. Suffice to say, we made it back in one piece and with no issues. Between your Scotty and mine, everything went smoothly, though mine still insists the mix-up is his fault, no matter how many times I tell him there was no accounting for an out-of-nowhere ion storm during a random moon alignment in Sector 17._

_I would have sent this sooner, but things have been kind of hectic here, as I’m sure they have been for you._

_Well anyways, I’ve dragged this out enough… I’m sure you and Jim noticed how my Bones acted when he saw me on your ship a month ago. It…well. I’m trying to think of how to explain, because it honestly caught me off guard. Until that hug, he’d never even seemed to notice I was a woman at all, you know?_

_I was just Jamie._

_And I mean, my mother always said this, even about Dad in spite of how he ended up, that sometimes, something happens that puts things (or people) into perspective. Bones did a lot to help find me and get me back, but he also had a lot of time on his hands to think._

_He didn’t say he loved me there in your gym, but he may as well have. When we got back to my ship, and to my quarters, he sat me down. And I swear, he didn’t stop talking for a solid fifteen minutes. I couldn’t even get a word in edgewise._

_(Love you, Bones, but you’re a windbag sometimes. Both of you. ;D)_

_Anyways, everything he said boiled down to one thing: that he loves me, that he thinks maybe he’s always loved me, and that he was just too close to see the situation for what it was._

_And I told him everything. I told him that it’s always been him, almost since we met, and how I’d never want anyone **but** him. It’s always been Kirk and Bones against the world, and this was no different._

_Well, we’re not engaged, and I’m not having his kid or anything; we’ve both agreed to wait on those, at least for a year or two. But there definitely is an agreement that we’re in it for the long haul._

_(And oh my God, the sex! The sex is **insane**. Not that sex with you, Bones, was shitty, but Christ I just cannot. It’s that good. It’s just **that damn good**.)_

_Anyways, I figured I should let you know those two things. So we all got our happy endings, literal and figurative._

_Before I go, one more thing. In that brief time between talking to you guys in your room and us meeting in the gym, I had decided you were both right. My plan when I got back was sit Bones down and make him listen, at least give him something to ponder or sort out. I’d have never had the fortitude for that without you and Jim._

_Basically, I owe you a debt. Though in some ways, maybe I have been repaid, or so it seemed from the looks you two gave each other before I left. Hell, maybe that was the whole point of me ending up on your ship. I don’t know that God is a thing that exists, but maybe there’s some kind of force pulling the strings, aligning the stars so we all end up where and with whom we should._

_Barf, that’s heavy._

_Anyways, I really hope you two continue to be happy forever. I know Bones and I will be. Even if he does claim I’m giving him gray hairs already._

_I don’t know if there’s a way for you to reply to this, Scotty had to do some stuff even I don’t fully comprehend in order for this to reach you. Assuming it did._

_Take care of each other,_

_Jamie_

_PS – I sent a pic as proof, though it took six tries before Bones actually smiled. You’re a dick sometimes, Bones. Again, I mean both of you._

Bones’ chest tightened as he looked at the photograph; it was Jamie and Bones in civilian clothing, probably on a shore leave. They looked to be on the water in some type of gondola, and Jamie had a bright grin with her hair down and a black shirt on. Her cheek was pressed to his counterpart’s, and indeed, he had a slight smile on his face. He wore a pair of Wayfarers and a green polo, and even without the smile, Bones would have recognized the happiness in his own expression. 

“We should…” Bones said, his voice catching in his throat. “Get a frame.”

Jim gave him a long look. 

“What?” Bones asked, clearing his throat.

“Be honest with me,” Jim said; his voice was filled with understanding, but his eyes were blank. “You loved her.”

Being honest with himself…had he? Had he loved her? Was it even possible after barely three days? Bones knew he cared for her a great deal, had wanted her almost from first sight…

But then he looked at Jim, and as always, the sight of Jim’s countenance took his breath away. His heart soared, his stomach flipped…nothing had ever made him feel happier than when Jim said he loved him. Any time he said it, not just the first. Jamie made him feel desire, and yes in time, he probably could have loved her.

But Jim made him feel so much more than that, the heights of bliss and a complexity and completeness to his soul he’d never experienced, not even with Jocelyn.

“Compared to you?” Bones said once he finished his ruminations. “Nothing and no one compares to you.”

Jim’s cheeks flushed and a sweet smile spread across his lips. “That isn’t what I said.”

“It should be all the answer you need,” Bones said as he moved to sit behind Jim, pulling him back to him in an embrace. “Maybe in time, I’d have fallen in love with her, but that’s not what happened. I’m not using you as a replacement. You’re not my consolation prize. You’re the only one, Jim; always have been.”

He couldn’t see Jim’s face, but the way the tension fled his body spoke volumes. Jim’s right hand reached up and behind him, caressing the hairs at the nape of Bones’ neck. They sat like this for a while, not needing any words, until Jim sighed.

“We should eat,” Jim said. He grabbed the bubbly. It was Moet and Chandon, a decent vintage at that. Bones wondered where he got it from as he popped the cork; nothing spilled out, and Jim poured them both nearly full flutes. He passed one to Bones first before taking the second. 

Turning to face Bones, he smiled, and with that, Bones knew that the last of Jim’s insecurities had disappeared for good. “To us. And Bones and Jamie.”

“To the four of us,” Bones said as their glasses clinked together in a toast. They took long sips, and Bones enjoyed the champagne. It was a lovely way to celebrate.

Once they were done, Jim set their glasses on the table. “Dinner’s tapas-style, lots of little finger plates,” he said as he grabbed several covered trays from between the couch and the table. 

Bones half-watched him present all the dishes, but mostly focused on Jim’s face. He knew he didn’t really believe in a God or Gods or whatever, hadn’t since that mess with his father. 

At the same time, he couldn’t help but admit that maybe there was a greater reason for her visit, after all. Maybe there was some kind of force pushing things into being the way they should. Destiny or something, though he supposed it didn’t matter.

But he was happy thanks to those bizarre circumstances, and it was hard to be mad at fate for that.


End file.
